Adoption due to rape

[Blueblue26]

I was raped at 15, didn't realize I was pregnant till it was too late
My parents were very supportive and told me they would be there for me whatever I decided
I gave birth to a boy and he looked like him, I was sedated soon after.
I agreed to adoption
21 years after he's contacted me, we've spoken on the phone and he sends me pics of him but he looks like him!!!
Sorry but I look at the pics and see my son but I see the man that abused me
I showed my friend a pic of my son and she immediately said " god he's a spitting image of him"
I know he deserves answers but I'm stuck

How difficult. Have you had any face to face or letter box contact over the years? You say you owe him the truth, do you mean about the rape? Honestly I would be amazed if he doesn't know x

This is heartbreaking. Did you have any counselling? How do you feel about having your son in your life?

@Blueblue26 such a very difficult situation for you.
I think the only suggestion I could make is that you contact a specialist adoption service for birth families. You should be able to get an intermediary who can meet with you and find a way forward, including explaining to him on your behalf

Good luck

Big big hugs for you. This must be so hard for you. I agree that you need to try to find an organisation that can support you and help facilitate a way forward that works for you.

This must be incredibly difficult, as others have suggested that some counselling may be advisable. Also, as much as your son may look like this man - he is not him. I do wonder if you got to know your son that it may help you see just your son.

There is a lot of trauma here and it is understandable to feel how you feel. Just please seek help.