How do I tell?

[CD28]

I am being waaay too prepared for this as I am sure you'll realise as you read on.. haha but! I am adopted. I was adopted at 3 y/o and have been absolutely adored by my family. I've turned out fine and am in occasional touch with my birth family after they traced me when I was 21. I am now 29 and pregnant with my first baby. I want to be as open and honest with him about my past and was wondering how/if anyone had done this? It will be a part of him too.

Very crazy coincidental side note here just for info.. my partners father is a prison officer who actually watched over my natural father when he was in prison as a young man! We joke that when we drive past the prison as baby grows we can explain daddy's daddy used to work here and mummy's natural daddy used to live here! sorry I have a daft sense of humour but if we don't laugh we'll cry! Lol.

Hi!

I haven't got any expertise with this apart from being an adoptive mum. But, I was thinking could you use the life story book approach? Have one for you, your partner and your baby? From memory I think there's some good guidance on them online.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

Hi CD28. I was adopted as a baby (a very long time ago) and like you, had a wonderful adoptive family and was much loved. When my birth children came along, I just told them the story my mum had told me - that they brought me home specially from the nursery and I became their own little girl. I can’t remember it being a big thing, telling my children about my adoption. It was just part of our family story. I didn’t know anything then about my birth family, though I did trace them later and my children were involved in meeting up with them too - but only because I felt it was appropriate. Now one of my children is an adoptive parent so I’m an adoptive grandmother. I’d suggest don’t make a big deal of it. Family story photo books can be a good idea - there was no thought of that in my day, though we always looked through photo albums together. Hope all goes wonderfully for you x

Adoptive parent here. As part of our training prior to adopting we were told just to make it part of our everyday life. So that's what we do. We discuss it as things come up. For example there is a Peppa pig episode where Suzy sheep shows Peppa a baby photo and it leads to a discussion about Peppa as a baby. When asked where George was Mummy pig says he was a baby in my tummy. This has led to conversations about how my LO didn't grow in my tummy and looking at photos of birth and foster families. Kids just accept things as they are without all the emotions that we as adults have around those facts.