Adopted child contact with birth sibling(s)

[Rey9020]

Awful sorry for the long post, trying to make the situation clear so there isn’t confusion. Would be greatly appreciated if an adopter could share experiences of keeping in touch with AC biological siblings, whether this is just a letter to leave the door open, yearly letter box contact or visits.
My son has a half sister from biological dad and dads ex girlfriend, his sister was placed for adoption around the age of 1, she is now 2. (She was in foster care from birth).
My son has never had any contact with his biological dad as he was never interested, so I don’t know the ins and outs of the adoption reason of his sister apart from it maybe drug related on her mums behalf.
I only have very little detail on this from a mutual friend. I have no experience or a clue how SS or adoption work to know if my son would be able to have some sort of contact with his half sister any contact at all even if this would be yearly through letters.
Would this be possible without birth mum/dad knowing as the daughter is now adopted and their legal rights would be terminated. My sons dad isn’t on his birth certificate as he refused this, so apart from a DNA test I have no other confirmation of this. (Would this be needed to be shown?)
I wouldn’t want my son to be a secret to his half sister and nor would I want my son
asking in the future about her and me only knowing he has a sister and no more information on her. I only have her name and date of birth. I’m not sure if her name has changed through adoption, I’m assuming so.
I would of done this sooner but while she was in foster care I wouldn’t of wanted any information about my son handed to the biological dad or them to have any clue that I was considering this, as we do not get on and haven’t had contact in over 3 years (he’s a completely different person since meeting the ex girlfriend who he has this child with).
My son is young and doesn’t yet understand what adoption is and this has never been mentioned as of yet as I feel he’s too young to understand.

I totally respect the fact the little girl now has a new family and is more than likely thriving, happy and settled, as 2 she wouldn’t fully understand. I just don’t want to leave this and have regrets in the future where letters, or any contact could of been made or attempted.
How would adopters/social services handle this situation and would anyone happen to know what potentially could happen? (There has never been any contact with my son and his sister before so I’m expecting to be told no as this wouldn’t be beneficial to her now having a new family. Could be wrong) but as stated I have no experience or expectations of what could happen if I was to approach this situation.

This would not be beneficial to me at all, I’m 100% thinking of the long term for my son and his sister. Hearing stories about adopted children struggling to find birth families and connections has made me feel this is right for that reason, I’m just in two minds about this as I would not like the upset the little girls new family but I also feel if I don’t attempt this I’m not allowing what could be a good relationship for both my son and his sister.

We told our social worker that the dept could provide our names to the adoptive parents of our child's (older) sibling (the LA had also placed that child) and if they needed or wanted to get in touch they knew how to do that and knew we were open to that contact.

I should say that any sibling contact would not occur until in our childs best interests and that is going to be some time off due to age but the connection has been made for the future.

There is very little consistency in relation to contact in adoption at the moment, there is research which indicates it is positive/does not have a negative impact unless there are factors which would make it negative, historically it has been seen as having a negative affect, the research doesn't support that as long as each case is assessed properly individually and managed properly. Sounds complicated? It is.

Because of the inconsistency, there are many varying attitudes and approaches amongst adopters and SWs so you won't be able to second guess it, it depends on the adopters and what sort of training they had from the individuals who trained them.

The best thing you can do is make your situation and willingness known and take it from there. If you want to read up on the research have a look at
www.uea.ac.uk › contact-after-adoption
If you find other research please let us know.

Good luck

Our situation is a bit different, because my children were older, had older siblings and they all knew each other well. However, it has been hugely beneficial. My children don't feel that they have been ripped from their entire past and that they have birth family who look like them.

The contact with my children's siblings has never been disruptive. My children used to be very sad each time we had to leave, but got used to that over the years. Now their siblings stay over for weekends at ours and all of them can contact each other independently via SM or phone. The relationship to some of their siblings has become more complex over the years, but it still is positive so far. Contact has also been beneficial for their siblings.

Each situation is unique and should be assessed individually. Contact the placing LA/RAA and explain you’d like to establish contact. They will explore it. It could be direct, or letterbox.