What do your adc call you?

[janetmendoza]

We adopted DS aged 6 nineteen years ago so he's 25 now. He has never called us mum and dad or mummy and daddy. He might say 'my mum' when talking about us, but mainly he calls us either our christian names or muvva and dudes! To be honest I still kind of hope he might one day call me Mum. Just wondering what other adopted children say?

We were Mummy and Daddy from the start. That was how the FC introduced us.
(We were Mummy Jemima and Daddy Fred in the intro books.)

I am mum mostly, but at 16 I get a variety of names from Oi you, stinky, my name, also a variety of street slang - blood, fam.

It's only the street slag that annoys me, because I'm not one of his homies.

But I do know a few other adopters whose kids don't call them mum and dad.
At 25 could you have a conversation about it

He initially did call us 'the parent's! I remember that now. Social workers called us new mummy and daddy- but he never adopted that.

Mine was a year old when she came home and is now 4. So we started off as mummy and daddy but now we get every variation of that depending on what she's been watching, 'Ma' is a favourite after she's watched the peppa pig episode in which a Pedro plays cowboys.

My niece has called her bio mum by her first name pretty much since she turned into a teenager.

I'd find it really odd if he started calling you Mum or Mummy at 25.
I don't know his backstory (nor am I asking) but if for any reason he found that difficult when he arrived, it was good not to push it.
Place your importance on the relationship you have rather than a label, albeit an important one to many.
I'm not adopted and my sibling and I do not call my parents mum or dad, doesn't mean I don't love them or that there's any doubt as to their importance.
It actually really gets on my nerves when social workers call people 'mum' instead of their name, to me it's just so generic.
At the playground when a kid shouted mummy lots of women looked round but when I called for mine she was the only one who did and that was special to us.

Haha yes he's no plans to start now and says he never will!

Well Janet you sound like a lovely mother/muvva which is the important thing.
I know a very pretentious family where the mum insists on being called Maman, she is not French!

Our foster son moved in with us when he was eleven. Long story but he has no family. He always called my husband and I by our first names. He's 19 now and went off to uni last year. Since then he has called us mum and dad!

I hope you don’t mind me replying on here as I’m not adopted, nor do I have any experience with adoption.
But I am 26 and have a weird relationship with having a name for my mum.

I easily refer to her as ‘my mum’ but I have never called her ‘mum’ to her face. Her name isn’t mum to me but she is my mum - difficult to express.
I always say the awkwardness is because I never grew out of calling her mummy, it was like all the other kids around me had started saying mum and I missed the boat, then it got too late and awkward. I remember announcing a couple of time that I was just going to call her mum but it never stuck.
Now I’m 26, I’ve gone back to just calling her mummy a lot as I have less fucks to give than I did as a teenager
But I do also just say ‘ma’, ‘mother’ a lot of the time to try and avoid the situation.

You adopted your son at 6 and between ages 5-10 seemed to be the transition for people going from mummy to mum in my circles, in that a few were saying mum near the beginning of primary school and everyone had been saying it for a while on leaving. So maybe it was an age thing combined with being an awkward bugger like me?

Does he ever say ‘I love you’ because me and my mum are pretty close but the thought of announcing ‘I love you’ makes me blood run cold. She MIGHT get a ‘love ya’ at the end of a visit but more likely to get a ‘laters bitches’ . I get that same vulnerable awkwardness at the thought of calling her mum.

Daddy/Dad, he was only 18 months but I had to consciously call myself Daddy and ask friends to do the same as unless he knew the title Daddy/Dad belonged to me he wouldn’t have used it.

As much as I tried to get him to call me Daddy (and it worked), if it hadn’t it wouldn’t matter to me as it isn’t a reflection on the relationship you share. Although he calls any men he likes Daddy so 🤷🏽‍♂️

Well Fightmilk he is certainly an awkward bugger! And yes I do think you can kind of miss the boat. He would call our parents Nanny/grandad. He might even manage an 'aunty Sue'. It's just mum and dad he doesn't like!

My nephews have never called their parents mum or dad or any variants. They are not adopted. They just never used those names. I think there is so much more to being mum and dad than a name could ever do justice to. You are his mum in every single way even though he doesn't call you that. You cared for him and raised him. You are his mum.

But at 6 he was old enough to remember another mum and dad. One of my friends adopted a six year old, he didnt call her mum for about three years and only when he 'forgot', he reverted back to her name as soon as he realised.
It sounds like he has his own special names for you though,
mum, mam, ma, mom, mummy, is muvva really that different?

I'm Mama to my children, both adopted and birth.
My eldest (complex and fairly unique situation) came into my care under a SGO at 7 and had very serious issues with using the name mummy - I said my first name was fine ( as did her therapists etc) but she wanted to use another name so we settled on Mama.....which my other three then picked up on and used in turn.