Relationship meeting

[journeytobeingadad]

We have a meeting at home with the social worker next Monday and the focus will be on our relationship. What wre others experience of this one if you have done this bit already?

Just lots of questions about what we loved about eachother, how we thought we worked as a couple etc.

We had to say what we liked and what annoyed us about each other. Talked about how we met, what we liked to do as a couple. How do we come to decisions together. How would we know if the other one was struggling etc.

I quite enjoyed this part. We were asked about how we met, how we came to the decision to adopt, any big events that we have been through together and how we came out the other side, how we support each other, what we enjoy doing together, how do we make big decisions together, how can we tell when the other is having a bad day and what we do to help each other, how to we resolve issues in the relationship, what our responsibilities are within the household. I’m sure there was more but it was a while ago. It seems quite a lot but it was nice to reflect on our relationship.

Nothing to worry about but helpful to reflect on a few things in advance in preparation As others have said it's just a chance for you to talk about what each of you perceive to be your strengths and weaknesses as a couple and individuals which you may bring to adoption. Things like your roles (including ideas around gender roles and division of tasks), how you resolve conflicts, and how difficult scenarios that have arisen throughout your relationship have tested you as a couple. We also were asked simple things like how we met etc and each did an attachment style questionnaire based on our relationship.

Thanks everyone. I had my solo meeting today at home talking about my childhood experience growing up.
She went over a few things for our Monday meeting and it will be about relationship but also touch on eco map.

What happens next and how many more meetings are there? I know that's how long is a piece of string question!
We had training via zoom mid april then 4 meetings over what's app in May. We have now had 2 home visits each individual on childhood. What's comes after the relationship one?

It depends on where you live, the process is a bit different across the 4 nations. If you tell us where you’re based someone here will be able to help.

based in Wales. A few more sessions then would imagine she will look to go over some things again and ask questions?

SW should've done an outline plan of meetings and what they'd cover.l including a date for being approved by. Also we had to have a meeting with our SW's manager who also wrote a piece for our PAR. Ultimately how long you have left depends on how complicated your lives have been to this point and how much more information your SW feels they need to get you through the approval process.

So when we first met over video call at the start of May she said it "should" take 5 months but that given covid she cannot give any guarantees. I suppose that also depends on her being happy to put us forwards. its hard to get an idea of that yet and i dont really want to ask her what she thinks just yet - hope she will give indication of what she thinks of us in the next few meetings?!!

At the moment the few things that have come up as concerns are - both our BMI's need to be reduced so we are losing weight, we do not have a lot of childcare experience and we wanted siblings but have now agreed we will look to take one child rather than 2. I mentioned if this impacts on getting more childcare experience as said it is very difficult at the moment due to covid.
Also i have high blood pressure from our medical and need to get re-checked in 3 months.
All of those 3 things she said would not necessarily stop panel or be a no but we just need to demonstrate we are making a good effort to bring weight and blood pressure down. and with childcare she said try to get experience with family if possible the panel will know going to various groups will not be possible yet.

Our meeting went really well. And our social worker set out the next steps. Meeting this coming week will be health and safety assessment. Then the following week will be finances. She is then going to have a break from meetings with us to start the assessment. Says about 3 or 4 weeks later we will have a sort of mop up meeting for anything missed or that she wants to come back to. She also said a provisional date of 2nd November has been set for us to go to panel.
Really good to know the next steps.