Hi, this is really long and I'm not sure where to start! About 8 years ago my husband found a letter from social services at his parents' house which revealed to him his mum had a previous child who she'd had adopted. He struggled to come to terms with this initially but with the help of counselling, had eventually been able to deal with it and to tell his parents he had found out.
He now has a relationship with his half-sibling, as do his grandparents. His mum has asked that we never mention it and she doesn't want to meet him. His adopted brother is searching for his birth father but has so far been unsuccessful and my mother in law doesn't want to reveal his name.
The main issue is my husband had a younger brother (now 26) who still hasn't been told. The adopted brother lives around 5 miles away from my in laws and looks the mirror image of my husband! My mother-in-law attended a counselling session with the aim of telling her other son but didn't find it useful and wouldn't go again. My husband is concerned his brother still doesn't know about this and there is a risk he could find out by accident just like he did. His grandparents also have a photo of the child who was adopted in their living room, and his child.
We realise this must be incredibly difficult for his mum snd fully respect her wishes regarding choosing not to have a relationship with him. However, we feel like his brother has a right to know. It is a constant worry for my husband that his brother will hold it against him that he has known for so long and not told him. Please, does anyone have any advice? Thank you