When should we start?

[Maci94]

My husband and I are hoping to grow our family through adoption in a few years. We recently (June 2020) had our first child (a biological baby girl) and are hoping to get an adoption placement when she is about 3. We've researched the adoption process and understand that every adoption journey is different but would love to hear from people that have already been through/ going through it to see how long before we are hoping to have a placement you'd recommend starting the process.

Also if anyone has adopted after having biological children, how did you prepare them and explain things to them? Did it work or what would you have done differently?

Thanks

Hello and welcome!

Congratulations on your baby girl.

I'm sure lots of people who had children before adopting will be able to give advice about timescales/age gaps/preparing your child etc. and that it'll be really useful in the long run. It's great that you're already researching - that will really help.

But as mum, I would say it's too soon to even start thinking about timescales yet - enjoy your baby and the world of parenting. Maybe come back to it in a year, keeping adoption on your radar whenever anything obvious is relevant (support network, finances, bedrooms, healthy lifestyle etc). I say this as a really enthusiastic, life long advocate for adoption.

But you can make your own choices of course 😀 You could phone a couple of local agencies and ask their views well before you intend to proceed.

Best of luck!

Many/most LAs like there to be a minimum of 2 years between your youngest and a placed child.

Given that there really aren't that many children placed under a year old, you may find that your daughter will be older before you are placed.

This is for very good reasons, the birth child needs to feel secure and confident and not misplaced, and the adopted child will likely have higher needs than a birth child of the same age, so the adoptive parents need to have the time to focus.

That said, it will depend on what you have to offer etc. We don't have birth children, so no doubt other will be along with more experience.

It's very very soon to be thinking about a second child!! Just enjoy your newborn, it's a cliche but it's true they grow up so fast and this stage especially is so fleeting! Just focus entirely on them for now. They come with so many challenges, we are in stage two of the process now to adopt a second child after our first birth child,hes almost 4 and over the years there have been many times I swore I wasn't having anymore!

Congratulations on the arrival of your baby girl, I'm impressed that you have the energy and headspace to think about another child with a new born.
But as others have said its really way too soon to be thinking about adoption. Enjoy this special time, give this child the full attention and focus she deserves. If you feel the same in a few years then apply.