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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

When to tell work?

9 replies

rwoollsey · 02/07/2020 15:14

I know it's a while off (well I hope!) as I'm only just in stage 1 but when did everyone tell their workplaces they were adopting?

I am in line for a pay rise and promotion in the next 2 months so was going to wait until after then before saying anything as I didn't want the prospect of me going off work for a year to postpone those discussions.

However could I wait until I've been approved after stage 2? Or would it need to be done before then?

TIa

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Bouncydoog · 02/07/2020 15:27

I told my supervisor when I was in stage 2. It was helpful to discuss the potential timescales and their expectations of how much notice I would give. Also be clear if you want it to be shared more widely with people at work or not and when.

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ifchocolatewerecelery · 02/07/2020 16:05

We had to have a reference from our employer so until you actually get to the point that references are being requested you don't need to mention anything as this would be done before you've been approved you can't wait until then.

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rwoollsey · 02/07/2020 17:16

@ifchocolatewerecelery

I have told a trusted colleague as they are going to do the reference (as our references are being done this week)

But I just wasn't sure when to officially tell HR and management. As I don't know how long I can reasonably leave it

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Teacher12345 · 02/07/2020 17:44

I had to get a refwrence fom my line manager but didn't have to tell Hr until I was approved I don't think.

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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 02/07/2020 19:49

DH & I worked for the same large company.
HR knew because of references.
I told my manager when we were approved so we could do some succession planning (ie make sure I wasn't the only one who knew about anything). Then again when we were linked.
Told the rest of the team after matching panel. Not much interest until I said I had 4.5 more working days before I went.

Don't tell work before you have to, it might be ages and you don't want to be passed over for things.

If you wouldn't tell them you were TTC, then don't say you are trying to adopt.

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Hotwaterbottlelove · 02/07/2020 19:56

Oh good question OP. I have been wondering this myself. I'm confused by different responses though. Can you decide who in your workplace does the reference then? As some said they just told a trusted colleague and another said HR did it.

I work for a vast company so if I gave a generic HR contact, they would probably just look up who my manager is and send it to them. I don't really want to tell my manager too soon.

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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 02/07/2020 20:01

For us, the work reference was just proof of employment, not a character or ability at work, which is why HR could do it.

it was 18 months between our approval panel and our matching one. Work didn't need to know that early.

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rwoollsey · 02/07/2020 20:39

@Hotwaterbottlelove

I think it depends on who is requested as I remember vaguely from another forum someone said their social worker specified it had to be HR.

My Social worker said the work contact could be a line manager, but I just put a colleague (as there is nothing they couldn't answer that management could)

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PaintedLadyWBB · 04/07/2020 08:22

For me personally I told my manager quite early on. Prior to the training. I work for a smallish company so we all know each other reasonably well. As the process continued I really benefitted from telling my employer early on as I was able to get time off at short notice for adoption meetings/training etc. My partner did the same. He informed his manager about it early on as they have a close relationship so it was more like telling a friend instead of an employer.