Advice Please

[londonscalling]

My friend, who is a foster carer, has been asked if she will take on a toddler with a view to him being adopted. She's been told here is quite a lot of additional work involved, including introduction work etc. Can anyone shed any light on what this will entail from a FC's point of view please (and over what period of time)? She'd like to help but has a number of other children so may find it difficult to be able to open her house up to prospective parents). Thanks!

Just to clarify .... she has been asked to have him until he is adopted by a new family (my post may have read that she was asked to adopt him herself). Thanks!

Does she do long-term foster placements for children who aren't placed for adoption? I'm wondering if the best place for her to discuss this is probably on Facebook groups for foster carers.

Hi, in brief, it will start like any placement with all the usual meetings, Medical etc that this entails. Also collecting information, mementos, photos of their time with carer to pass on for life story work. Making sure that they have significant attachment toys/blankets etc which will give them familiarity in their new home (but not am overload of possessions as the adopters will want to provide for their new child).

once an adoptive placement is found (and not possible to tell how long this may take) it will involve a couple of meetings which will be attended by prospective adopters, carers, and social workers for carers and adopters and child and an adoption manager. A very detailed introduction plan will be worked out with everyone able to contribute. Carers will be given information from the adopters to share with the child; a book they've put together of themselves and their home - the child's room etc, a recording of their voices telling a story, a soft toy they have slept with for their smell.

These are then shared with the child in the run up to/first phase of introductions.

Length of introductions will vary but usually somewhere around the two week mark.

This will initially be hosted in the carers home. The adopters will need to feel relaxed and able to treat carers home as their own in terms of what they will need to look after the child. It will start slowly with them observing but quickly build to them doing all tasks for child and taking child out alone. Eg we can be talking 6am to 7 pm if that is the length of the child's day. Carer will need to be fully supportive of the adopters/adoption and show the child that they trust them to care for them. The introductions will then move to the adopters house. Carers will spend less and less time there and there will be overnight stays and a final good bye.
It is a complete emotional roller coaster immense sorrow for the loss of the little one you have grown to love. Also immense joy and privilege at being a part of this family's beginning.

There may or may not be ongoing contact post placement. This is increasingly encouraged but will be the adopters call.

@SittingontheSidelines

Hi, in brief, it will start like any placement with all the usual meetings, Medical etc that this entails. Also collecting information, mementos, photos of their time with carer to pass on for life story work. Making sure that they have significant attachment toys/blankets etc which will give them familiarity in their new home (but not am overload of possessions as the adopters will want to provide for their new child).

once an adoptive placement is found (and not possible to tell how long this may take) it will involve a couple of meetings which will be attended by prospective adopters, carers, and social workers for carers and adopters and child and an adoption manager. A very detailed introduction plan will be worked out with everyone able to contribute. Carers will be given information from the adopters to share with the child; a book they've put together of themselves and their home - the child's room etc, a recording of their voices telling a story, a soft toy they have slept with for their smell.

These are then shared with the child in the run up to/first phase of introductions.

Length of introductions will vary but usually somewhere around the two week mark.

This will initially be hosted in the carers home. The adopters will need to feel relaxed and able to treat carers home as their own in terms of what they will need to look after the child. It will start slowly with them observing but quickly build to them doing all tasks for child and taking child out alone. Eg we can be talking 6am to 7 pm if that is the length of the child's day. Carer will need to be fully supportive of the adopters/adoption and show the child that they trust them to care for them. The introductions will then move to the adopters house. Carers will spend less and less time there and there will be overnight stays and a final good bye.
It is a complete emotional roller coaster immense sorrow for the loss of the little one you have grown to love. Also immense joy and privilege at being a part of this family's beginning.

There may or may not be ongoing contact post placement. This is increasingly encouraged but will be the adopters call.

That's such a great help and really appreciated. Thanks so much!

@mahrezzy

Does she do long-term foster placements for children who aren't placed for adoption? I'm wondering if the best place for her to discuss this is probably on Facebook groups for foster carers.

Thanks. I think "Sittingonthesidelines" has answered a lot of the questions.

Glad it was useful.

I'd advise her to think long and hard about the potential impact it could have on other foster children. I know of at least one adopter who didn't get the experience that @SittingontheSidelines describes because of the impact on the other foster child living there at the time.

@ifchocolatewerecelery

I'd advise her to think long and hard about the potential impact it could have on other foster children. I know of at least one adopter who didn't get the experience that *@SittingontheSidelines* describes because of the impact on the other foster child living there at the time.

Thanks. She has heard that it can be quite challenging for the whole family, especially her other foster children. I'll tell her to have a good think about it and to go in with her eyes open.