New birth sibling

[EarnshawLintonHeathcliff]

LO's birth mum has had another baby. Have avoided posting until now but am all at sea thinking about it, decide one thing one minute then another the next.

Read on here the pain adopted adults describe at not growing up with siblings which edges me towards a 'yes' even though personal circumstances may not be ideal at present.

Just wondering how others (who were torn, I know for some the decision is easy) manage this. Anyone decided 'no' only to regret it and have LO upset, angry or affected by not growing up with their sibling?

@EarnshawLintonHeathcliff Do what is best for YOU, don't just do it because you want your DC to have their sibling... birth mum could keep having more and more so at what point do you say no? SS will hound you every time about keeping siblings together!!

My sis is an addict so my mum is raising her 3, the last one she was going to say no but changed her mind when he was born. They are 3 very difficult children now they are growing up regardless of the fact she has had them since birth...

My LO is desperate for a sibling. We know it’s actually not in his best interests ( he needs two adults focused on him) so we have made that decision and would stick by it. In many ways it would be wonderful to have another but I know deep down it’s not right for our family and his needs have to come first.

I took my eldest's birth mothers new baby.
There is only a year between my youngest birth son and my youngest (the adopted) dd so it wasn't an easy decision but in the end I knew it would be best for everyone for the baby to come to us.
She has serious health issues (she was born addicted) but I've never regretted my decision for a second.
However just because it was right for us doesn't mean it always is. It's a deeply individual decision and only you can decide what is best for your family. Don't let SS pressure you - they did me - make sure you take all the time you need.

I think this depends on so many factors. Your finances, your LO, how old they are, how they have bonded, how long they have been with you,. Your support network etc etc.
For us, We have a birth son as well and although had always said we would be open to it, after having DD for a few months, we decided we really didn't want any more kids. 2 is definitley as much as we can handle, emotionally, financially etc. Luckily, they didn't ask us and baby remained with birth mum.

I decided no as a single adopter. my child's birth month had another child only a year after mine was born and I didn't think I could cope with another. As time has passed I know I made the right decision as my child has significant behavioural and emotional problems, autism and adhd which I can barely cope with (stemming from her in utero exposure to drugs an alcohol). Even though she has been with me since birth she has significant needs. So I would consider what you personally can manage and afford. We have direct contact with the other siblings so they will grow up knowing each other to an extent, which I think has been for the best all round.

I was adopted as a baby. I have a sibling 2y older than me. It would have been nice to have been raised together. I had a fantastic upbringing, sadly my sibling didn't. When we met as young adults we almost got on very well but our lifestyles / social culture (?) sort of got in the way and it was difficult to move forward in our relationship unfortunately.

How old is your DC?

I don't see how you can be expected to make this decision based on age and gender. You need to know some of the reasons why it has been decided that adoption is in this child's best interest and what has gone on in the build up to that decision. Otherwise you are left assuming that the circumstances around this child's conception, pregnancy and birth are the same as your LO's. You don't even know whether it's a full or half sibling.

We know someone who was offered the opportunity to adopt their LO's birth sibling and turned it down because the timing wasn't right and they lived in a 2 bed property who has since gone on to adopt a none birth related child. You are not responsible for this child and if the time's not right then the time's just not right. That being said, I couldn't imagine saying no to adopting a sibling and then going on to adopt a non biologically related child either.

I'm here as facing a similar dilemma; wondering what the OP decided upon?