Social Media

[PaintedLadyWBB]

I’ve been asked a few times recently about whether I am ‘allowed’ to put photos of my LO on social media sites. I’ve also had a few remarks from friends telling me I can’t and that my LO can’t be in the paper or class photos. I know a lot of it is personal preference and some do and some don’t for safety reasons. I was just hoping to hear other people’s thoughts/experiences on this.

We don't put photos.of DS on social media. He could be identified, and although I don't think there is a risk, I'd rather preserve his privacy.

The school doesn't want parents to put any school photos on social media (of other people's kids).

once you have the adoption order its up to you what you. You need to do your own risk assessment of what and where you post.
Personally I don't post openly on social media, I have allowed class photos etc as long as his name wasnt used, particularly as its very identifiable.
Its worth remembering that its not just adopter families who are wary of posting photos on social media for many reasons. Also that once its out there, its out there. and you are making permanent decisions for your child.
Its a bit like like those hideously embarrasing photo displays that parents of my generation and before did on your 18th or 21st birthday parties, but this is permanent. Todays children may not appreciate their photos being all over social media

When my birth daughter was born, I put loads of pictures of her on facebook but that dwindled over the years. There isn’t even a mention of the adoption of Facebook. Those that need to know, know. I have a few relatives, especially my grandmother who have asked me to share some photos as they don’t see us very often as our family are spread out but I feel there are too many safety concerns so the adoption is not even mentioned. Facebook and other social media (including this one) is full of information that can identify you. Where you work, when you work, your friends and family, your routines. I feel it is too risky and can put us in w vulnerable position.

In terms of school, my son is not on any of their social media or newspaper. I don’t want his birth family to know what school he goes to. You never know who is standing in the playground at pick up time. I wouldn’t know them. Morbid? Sorry.

It’s a completely personal decision (after the order). For me, I loved posting photos of my birth daughter and our days out and holidays and things. I think it’s a lovely record but I wouldn’t with my son. I know lots of families who have adopted that do as well as parents of birth children who have never posted a photograph. It’s up to you

I do allow the school to put photos of my kids on their blog. I allow it because it’s one of the ways the school marks achievement and my two felt very left out when they weren’t included. I don’t allow the school
or clubs to post their pictures on social media because that’s got a much wider reach than the school blog.

In terms of my own use, my social media is very locked down because my job demands it. The only people on there are friends and my privacy settings are tight so I do post occasional photos from time to time because we have a very spread out family and it’s easy to keep everyone up to date.

The other thing though is that my D.C. we’re placed out of area, and their birth family have never been a risk to them. You can make your own decision on this one.

It all depends on a lot of context and factors about your child's individual circumstances. Their social worker should be helping you understand what the particular risks are for your child. This is not a judgement at all of other ppl but I've never particularly been that bothered about the concept of posting photos of my little one even if he had been a birth child as I figure anyone that loves and cares about him would be talking to us via WhatsApp and usually see h in person often enough anyway so I'm not sure what I'd be posting for. I have my own views about sharing a child's image before they are at an age to decide for themselves but that's just it. My views. I understand other ppl feel differently. Our social worker specifically told us a condition would be that we don't post his image or identifying info because of risk issues associated with birth family so that made it easier for us in a way but if it's less clear cut then that it may be about using your discretion and deciding what your personal comfort level is. You do hear horror stories about bortr families tracking down but tbh in reality that's very unlikely that they would manage to connect all the dots to find you given the level of confidentiality on adoption, but if you do.provode a lot of info about your child being adopted, their name, photos or their face and on places easy to identify in photos etc then yes you are taking an informed risk about someone being able to put those things all together. But everyone is different and I think in the end it's down to you as a parent to defide what you're happy with around your lifestyle and guidance your social worker has given about your individual child xx

I put photos of my son on social media, but he was only 6 months old when he came home so has changed a lot in the last 2 years.
At first I I didn't, but over time I have.

The adoption has never been mentioned on there, people 'know' but if it was ever written on there then I would delete it. I also have everything closed down so only friends can see posts/photos etc.

I put my DD on SM but she was 11 months when she came to us, we are 50 miles away from family and she is not recognisable from the baby she arrived as.
That said, we are still careful. I would never post a shot of her in school uniform and I have my facebook locked down so randoms cannot see anything. Only actual friends and family on there. Not Joanne who I went to school with and her mum.

We were really strict about no photos on anything to start with, but have relaxed it a bit as time has passed.

School use their photos on class blogs, our eldest felt very left out before we allowed this, and it's only photos no names.

Our social media is quite locked down anyway but restrict any photo posts to specific people.

It is a difficult decision but only you know what feels right for you.

We've been strict on no photos online anywhere (but do allow class photos as those aren't put online).
But this is because:
a) we send good quality photos to birth family
b) birth family live relatively close

After the adoption order it’s really your decision to make, depending on your child’s circumstances (e.g. geographic distance from you and the biological family, reason why the child was removed from their biological family) and also some social media parameters (e.g. is your social media private that only friends and family can see; do you only have friends/family in our list, rather than a wider group of people that you don’t really know well)? In our case we haven’t really posted anything in our social media, because nowadays we communicate with friends and family via Whatsapp so we end up sharing photos and videos with them there. We don’t really use social media anymore. However, I don’t think the issue is social media itself, but how private your social media is.