Epilepsy and adoption

[Fanciedachange1]

Hi everyone

We are still in the very early stages of considering starting a family. At the minute we are both 31 and have no children. I suffer from epilepsy and at the minute my current medication isn’t as good as it can be so I am due to start combination treatment soon and have been advised that this can cause serious birth defects.

In my mind I am 100% sure that I would not want to risk having a child knowing I would be inflicting it to a cruel, painful life if any life at all.

Would epilepsy be an absolute no from social services? Even if it was well controlled and I had a risk assessment on every aspect of parenting? In my mind if I had a biological child, I know that everything would be done by the health team to make the baby as safe as possible and that thousands of women with epilepsy manage parenthood, but being approved for adoption is a completely different scenario.

We wouldn’t be looking to start the process for a year or two yet but I had the idea of mentally preparing to then be told on day 1 that I will never be suitable.

Thank you so much for reading, any replies appreciated especially if anyone has been in a similar situation.

It won't be an absolute no. Like any other condition they will look at how stable it is, how well controlled, your support, what happens if you are ill etc.
I'd do some scenario planning so you can answer their what if questions
ie what would happen if you were in sole charge of a baby and you become unwell, what would happen if you couldnt pick them up from school etc etc.
use the next year or so to get yourself as healthy as possible

Good luck I hope the new treatment works for you

Thank you for your reply :)

I have thought about scenarios such as things like not bathing a child when I am home alone. It is definitely a lot to consider.

In the past I have had periods of time where I have been well over a year seizure free. At the minute things aren’t as good and ideally I would like to begin a new treatment and aim for being at least a year seizure free before taking the next step.

I have a medical condition which means I take carbamazepine which can lead to birth defects or worse so I adopted. It’s an easy one to justify and talk about in terms of the reasons to adopt.

When going through adoption process, it came up again and again but showing it can be managed through medication and that i understand triggers and pre-empt it so I could have support about when needed wasn’t an issue. My children know about my condition and are caring and understanding of it. As long as you are able to demonstrate all this, it won’t be a problem.

Thank you, it’s nice to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation. It’s great to hear a positive outcome and I’m glad to hear things worked out for you :)

Op I don’t have any adopted children but have a family member with epilepsy and also employed a nanny with epilepsy. I would suggest contacting the epilepsy patient organisations. They had very helpful information for me about caring for a child with epilepsy which might be useful for you to pass on to the sw.

Thank you, i have a very good relationship with my epilepsy nurse and i know when/if its needed I can always ask her opinion/help as she would have experience of helping advise women with epilepsy who were expecting children and what practical things they could do. Maybe she would be able to help me with references or that kind of thing.

Oh yes super idea about epilepsy nurse. My family member has an excellent epilepsy nurse currently as well, so I know how good they are

I am epileptic and have recently adopted two children with my partner. I am lucky to have some control with my sezuire medication. They will do a full medical and the date of your last sezuire will be shared.

I was also worried about my medical disability, but was warmly reminded that disability is not a barrier to adoption. They cover it quite well during discussions, just be open.

All the best and good luck.

Thank you Scott2019, it’s great to hear from someone in a similar situation, and it’s lovely to hear a successful story!

If you don’t mind me asking, did the epilepsy have any bearing on the ages of the children you were able to adopt?

We successfully adopted in 2016, we have a birth child and an adopted child, I have epilepsy (well controlled) and husband has type 1 diabetes. Anything is possible ❤❤