Initial Visit... panicking! Help!

[CyanSnake]

Sorry for the clickbatey title!

I’ve been thinking about adoption for a long time; but the time never seemed quite right. I’ve finally got into a place in my life that feels right. I’ve got a stable m, decently paying job, own my own house, have family nearby, few debts I have are easily manageable with money to spare. I’m quite young in my 20s but I can never see my self having a bio child as I’m really not that fussed about romantic/sexual relationships. I’ve got a strong local network of family and friends L.A.

I submitted an expression of interest form two weeks ago and didn’t expect much to progress until after lockdown was over. I’ve just had a call that they want to meet me and have a look at the house over video chat. This will happen tomorrow afternoon.

I’m panicking. I took lockdown as an excuse to do some much needed DIY; so all the spare bedroom furniture is in storage and the house is a it upside down. Not massive renovations but stuff moved out of rooms for painting, and combined with working from home the living room is a bit messy as it’s currently also my office...

I’m really worried they’re gonna take one look at this and say “no chance”. Even if I spend the rest of the day tidying (which I’m going too) the potential DC bedroom(s) still won’t look like bedrooms just storage rooms until lock down is over!

Any advice anyone can give about tomorrow will be of a massive help!

Thank you all!

I'm sure they will understand. Many people working from home wil be a bit disorganised at the moment I would imagine.
You won't be expected to have rooms ready at this point. Just explain what you are doing and you will be fine
Good luck

I also think it'll be fine! It's a good first chance to take on any advice given, and an opportunity to show you've listened. My rooms weren't bedrooms either when I first started.

They might want to look at outside spaces too - but this doesn't have to be perfect either.

My house was described as 'decorated to a high standard' when I went to panel. Don't know how they would describe it now! 😀

Best of luck!

I remember that first visit well, never been so terrified in all my life!

You will be fine. The initial visit is just to cover some of the basics, your situation, why adoption., checking you have a spare room etc. They will like the fact that you are using this time to get some things in done, I think it shows you are planning.

You could have told me the above before my initial visit and it wouldn't have stopped me panicking though. Try to enjoy it, you'll be fine.

At least by video you don't have to serve drinks and biscuits, during our first visit, our SW placed his biscuit on the coffee table...our dog very carefully and stealthfully helped herself to it. Good Luck!

Only thing I would say is that you have mentioned you have some debts. We were in stage 2 and 6 weeks away from going to panel when our SW finally got round to looking at the financial plan that we put together a few months beforehand and we were put on hold until we can reduce some of the debt.

Like you we felt it was completely manageable and we weren't concerned but they wanted us to have the best chance possible at panel so it may be something you need to take a look at.

I am sure it will be fine. I am sure you have done a lot of tidying.

I'd just make sure that any dangerous looking tools are packed well away!

The usual 'issue' is what biscuits to serve! you won't have that dilemma!

Good luck. Let is know how it goes.

I remember the issue of the biscuits well. My husband bought so many different varieties he couldn’t fit them all on the plate! When the Sw was there I just stared at them the whole time. I think I had two. Then after she left they were put away in a separate part of the cupboard and I was told not to eat them, they were for for t he social worker! That didn’t work. I ate a lot of chocolate biscuits that summer!!

On a serious note, they are just getting to get a feel of who you are as an person. Are you committed? Or unsure? (Neither are bad things. It’s ok to ask lots of questions and not yet sure if you want to proceed). Have you thought about the future? What will work look for you as a parent? Have you looked after kids of various ages? Is that something you need to explore further before adopting? These are things the social worker will be looking at so they have a. Idea as to how support you. Remember, they want you. They want you to be the best parent you can be because they have little children waiting.

Excellent message Sarah121.

"Is that something you need to explore further before adopting? These are things the social worker will be looking at so they have a. Idea as to how support you."

This is a very good point. Have you thought about the fact you won't have a biological link to the child, you probably won't have a future biological child, and if you are single you may continue to be single. Is that all OK, have you thought it all through. I am sure you have. But those are the kind of things they may want to know.