Struggling during lockdown

[OurChristmasMiracle]

It’s 7 years since I went to court to fight to keep my child. 7 years since I lost the fight against the placement order. My “lovely” boyfriend has turned out to be a cheating lying pig. He’s still got his stuff here but he’s staying with the other woman.

I’m in pieces. I don’t know what I do or where I go from here. I’m stuck in 4 walls. I’m working from home but that’s limited and I’m missing human contact especially at this time. I doubt we will be out of lockdown for the anniversary of my mums death in mid may or even her birthday at the end it may.

I feel so low and I don’t know where to go. I’m heartbroken and missing my son and mum

I'm so sorry you're feeling low. You have been through some really hard times. I have no advice except to try and be kind to yourself.

Can you stay in touch with anyone through whatsapp or phone or any other media ? Hearing another voice may help break this feeling of isolation and solitude.

If you can, get rid of your ex's stuff. Ship it to his new girlfriend's place.

I am staying in touch with people. Just feel completely lost if I’m honest right now.

I don’t know where his new girlfriend lives exactly, and I honestly don’t want to. I think I do need to tell him he needs to get his stuff and go. There’s nothing left to fight for.

@OurChristmasMiracle
Sorry it's so tough
Just generally I think it's really important for mental health to get outside, just for a walk.
Were you hoping to meet family or visit your mums grave on her anniversary?

I don’t have any family. Both my parents are deceased. I was hoping to visit the crem and write in the remembrance book. Have a good cry and then come home. I was also hoping to have a horse riding lesson (a passion we both shared) but obviously that’s now not possible.

I haven’t been going out unless I really have to but maybe I should.

Yes you should go out. Its important to see that life is still going on out there, even though its limited.
I thought cemeteries are still open, so even if you can't get into the crem could you visit and put some flowers somewhere for her.

I agree that you need to get rid of his stuff,I'd text him to say he needs to collect by the weekend or it's in next weeks rubbish collection, then I'd bag it up and leave it outside

Hey OurChristmasMiracle, I'm new here and just saw your post. Can see it was back in April, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing?

Hi miracle I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. How are things today? I just wanted to echo what Ted said about cemeteries. A lot are open. It was the anniversary of my friend's death at the start of May and I was able to go and put flowers on her grave. I hope this might be a possibility for you too?

Also to echo the advice about going outside if you can. It makes a huge difference to how you feel in your head, even just sitting on a bench in the park might help a little bit. There is something cathartic and healing about feeling air and sun on your face.

Just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts and I hope you are okay.

Miracle I am so sorry things are so tough.

Please get out there and get fresh air. Is there any local place or park you can go to and think about your mum and son. Maybe just find a place you like to go and make it 'their' place?