Thank you to birth mum

[GlassCollectorAnnie]

Am a regular on the adoption boards but nc’d for this.

My DDs birth mum has sent me via letterbox some lovely photos of my DDs younger half siblings. I’m not due to write again for a while but so wish I could send her an immediate thank you for such a kind gesture, so I thought I would post this in case she lurks on these boards. If she does, thank you, the photos mean a great deal to DD.

BM hadn’t been in touch for nearly 3 years but I kept writing and she’s written back this time and even explained the reason for not replying before which was unnecessary but thoughtful. Her letter is also thoughtful and sweet and has answered some questions my DD asked me to ask her.

Not really sure why I’m posting other than to let the universe know and hope somehow BM will know that what she’s done in writing her letter and sending the photos has made a huge positive difference to DD. Also maybe it will give hope to others that sometimes even when it feels like there’s no point in continuing with letterbox because you don’t get a result, it’s worth persevering with it.

I’m not due to write again for a while but so wish I could send her an immediate thank you for such a kind gesture

I would do so. If it's the first time she's replied in 3 years I would certainly let her know how much this means to your daughter. The letterbox agreement is a guide, but situations evolve.

It's a lovely post to read, BTW.

Thanks Don that’s a good idea. It’s looking as if BM is getting her life back on track and I’m so pleased for her. It’s a really weird set of feelings to have. On the one hand there’s still that bit of me that thinks why couldn’t you get things together in time for DD but then the other part of me is so proud of her (if that doesn’t sound too patronising) for being able to turn things around and keep subsequent children when all the evidence, I think, shows that’s not often the case. I will ring the letterbox people and ask if I can send a short note.

That’s a fantastic development. It must be so hard for BPs to write.

Does she get view only photos of your DD?

I think I would start thinking about stepping up the photo arrangements one notch from whatever they are currently.

No immediate rush to decide, but being reciprocal in trusting each other with photos of your children might help to consolidate the new relationship.

You can write more frequently if you wanted to. We only had were only told to write once a year but we do more