What do the children call you?

[Hotwaterbottlelove]

Somewhat sparked by another active thread but also something that has been floating through my mind while reading about trauma, has anyone actively encouraged their adopted children to call them something different to what was used for birth parents. E.g if BM was called mummy do you encourage ma for yourself? Or just you name? So that they don't confuse memories of one for the other? Or so that they aren't triggered?

I was mummyTed27 for about 2 hours, he dropped Ted27 on his own.
He refers to birth mum by her name or calls her First Mum.

I dont believe its being confusing or triggering in any way

Hi,
I'm Mum/Mummy and always have been (apart from on initial meeting when LO's SW went against what was agreed and introduced me as 'name'.
It has never caused any difficulties. LO has a birth mum and a forever mum.
She does sometimes call me Ma/Mama etc, but she's just copying her friends. All is well in that front!

That's reassuring to hear. Thank you both.

I’m Daddy, when we talk about his birth mother we use her first name.

Mummy and Daddy. Birth parents are called by their first names.

We were Mummy X and Daddy Y in our intro books but FC referred to us as Mummy & Daddy from the word go and the DDs followed.

Their birth Mum was Mummy Z and then after a year or so we dropped the 'Mummy' as DD1 didn't need it and it was confusing for DD2.

We maintain direct contact with BM so a bit different for us. I am mummy and she is mum, this was my choice and probably an unusual one as we are on really good terms.

@SFCA
We also have one direct contact a year and have a reasonable relationship with the birth parents so that does muddy the waters a bit for me. I sometimes call myself mummy when talking to my son ( he is non verbal so he doesn't call me anything himself ) but often I call myself mama . Not sure why really just something that evolved because I want to distinguish myself from birth mum in my own mind I think if that makes sense.
At contact I never refer to myself as mummy because I don't want to rub salt in their wounds. For that few hours i am happy to let them be mummy and daddy as it doesnt bother me at all. I know i am the legal parent and thats enough for me .

@flapjackfairy

Exactly the same as us! Son is also non-verbal so I chose to be a mummy. Direct contact I am careful not to call myself or mum anything and mum can call herself whatever she wants during that time. Just when I speak to my son about her I call her mum to differentiate (he probably doesn’t follow any of it but you never k ow!)
I suspect it is slightly different because he has such complex needs. I have the utmost respect for BM, I feel she has a right to still be ‘mum’ as she put our son’s needs first which is how a parent acts.

We're Mummy X and Daddy Y (but only when LO is 'pushing it'). Otherwise we're just M&D.

We talk about Birth parents & as LO is still young we say tummy M&D followed by their names, when older & there's the understanding there, we will loose mummy M&D & just use first names for them.