Bump Into Meetings

[Morley19]

Did anyone do one before they adopted?

How did you find it?

Did you ‘instantly fall in love’ (probably unrealistic!), did you get a feeling that you could imagine being their mum And the love would come, did you feel numb? Etc etc

Very interested to know

Thanks x

I met DD1 at an activity day. I'd been to one before and been looking very actively at that one but did not feel the instant, visceral connection I got when I held DD with any other child.

That said, I don't think your feelings should dictate anything. I was depressed and felt no connection for the first 6 months plus with DD2- but I still did the parenty stuff.

Matching and early placement can be hard and emotionally weird; parenthood is something you do rather than a feeling- genuine love takes time and effort.

We had a bump into meeting with our little one. It was just us and the foster carers, it was going to be in the park but due to weather it ended up in a coffee shop.

It was a real strange experience but a good one. Main rules are keep it reasonably short, no real touching or smothering the child. It's strange cos your trying to chat to this carer you just met but really just want to gaze at the child!

For us meeting the foster carers was really helpful because it let us feel less nervous about introductions. It's also a good chance to get more of a feel for the child and see what the relationship between child and main carer is - ideally you want to see a positive attachment because that's going to be you some day!

I definitely felt something and came away happy that this was a kid that could fit in our family but not love. Don't expect to feel 'love' and really big emotions as it's probably unrealistic and just make you feel bad for not feeling enough. Maybe you wiĺl feel it straight away but don't expect it. Falling in love with your child is a whole different thing.

There was a real long wait from our bump into meeting to panel and introductions. So be prepared for that!