Social Workers! Argh!

[waiting4you]

Hi all,
Feeling the need to vent a little!

We were accepted to begin stage 1 four weeks ago - the adoption team manager from our LA said that we would be assigned our social worker 'shortly and asked us which prep courses we would like to attend. We were so excited and replied straight away with our preference.

Since then.... nothing! Four weeks on we have no idea who our SW is or if we are on the prep course we chose.. is it normal to wait so long?

Over the last couple of days I have tried to call them and also sent an email, however they do not answer and have not replied. I'm not the most patient person, but it's making me worry!

Any advice / words of encouragement welcome!

Can only say I’d do what you’ve done - it’s not really acceptable to have been told they would get back to you and then to have to wait 4 weeks.

I would treat them similar to solicitors in some sense - if there’s something you need from them and they’ve gone over the time frame required, give them polite calls and emails.

I will say that we adopted about a year and a half ago, and in that time they have sliced the team up... so they are overworked. I think polite emails and calls are acceptable until you get a response though. Maybe wait a day inbetween but keep trying?

Or alternatively try another agency?

Whilst some will tell you it was a quick process - and it can be, the majority of our process was a test in patience.......

hi

Sadly I don’t think your on your own with poor communication from social workers! We have recently adopted and we have found that out of sight, out of mind so I would agree to chase them up to get answers. It seems that most local authorities are crying out for adopters so it’s odd that their communication is so poor. I would look at other agencies if you haven’t started stage 1 and I’m sure others are better. Our stage 1 was complete in 8 weeks (I’m aware other agencies are different, staffing problems etc)

I know they are overstretched and so I feel bad for moaning.. but we were told 8 weeks to complete stage 1 and we are already 4 weeks in without even knowing who our social worker is, so I'm assuming we will go well over that time!

I just wanted to hear that others had found it frustrating too (not that I want others to be kept waiting) so we know we're not alone

I am sure you are not alone in your feelings. We found it reassuring talking to others from our prep group as most people are at the same stage as you. We found certain parts frustrating and at times it felt like it was a long way off but suddenly everything fell into place. I believe that how ever frustrating or how ever long it takes it is all worth it in the end 😊

Getting through the approval process is a real masterclass in patience and perseverance.
With it having been half term last week perhaps one or more people were on leave, but then add in winter bugs or the possibility that someone is off due to stress, or they are struggling to recruit, and the already stretched team will be superstretched.

When they asked you which prep group you wanted did they give you dates? You could suddenly find a big flurry of activity when that date approaches. I'm sure they aren't purposely ignoring you, just working through in terms of most urgent. You definitely should keep phoning and emailing but at the same time get used to not sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. It's a long road ahead with plenty more waiting to come.

Don’t worry, it won’t be about you or your suitability. It will more likely be about workload or planning or absence or a hundred other things. I wouldn’t email and phone every day tbh, you’ll get frustrated and they won’t get back to you any more quickly. I’d suggest every 3 days or so which allows for workers to be out of the office, in court, in panel hearings or simply working part time.

While 8 weeks is the target, the reality is this will stretch quite often because the process is complex and under resourced. You’ll need a considerable amount of both patience and perseverance to get through it (which also happens to stand you in good stead post placement). Good luck, hang in there.

8 weeks may be optimistic, 'shortly' is in interesting term and could mean very different things, don"t forget its also been half term.
One thing you have to learn in adoption land is patience. Its a frustrating business but if you persevere you will get there

Thank you all! I'll wait until Friday morning and try calling again

@waiting4you learning to be patient and to let go of 'control' was something that didn't come naturally to me at the start of the adoption process. By the end of it I'm a total zen master and simply shrug these things off!

I experienced similar at the start of the process. I'm now at the end and I'm amazed at how much work my social worker does; she's creating multiple PARs, family finding, getting families ready for matching panel, has endless paperwork, endless home visits (to adopters and children alike). It's a lot. And families closer to the end of the process will get more attention than families at the start, as there's more time pressures there. As you will find out!

Give it a few more weeks. If no joy, talk to other agencies. I've learned that social workers only get in touch if they have news. No news, no word from social workers! Which is fair enough. But I understand your frustration. I really do.

Hang in there. It will be worth it.