Feel angry today

[poppet31]

I just want a moan really. I'm feeling so angry today at everyone who's failed our son. From the family finder who let a potential match drag on for over a year before the couple pulled out. To the foster carers who did nothing with him and hindered his development. To his now social worker who we've just realised today hasn't even bothered completing the paper work to transfer him to the LAC team here after 6 months. Why can't anyone just do their jobs properly? I feel so protective towards him today and just so sad that he's not even 3 yet and so many people have let him down already.

@poppet31 Just have a good ol' moan and rant. Sorry you feel like this. 💐
I have days when I feel like this. Unclear and missed info in the CPR leading to delayed diagnosis of FASD, two years of inappropriate support before diagnosis. Awful experience at first school, illegal exclusion etc.
Grrrr 😡!
Are you going to complain? That delay is totally unreasonable!
But think of it like this, he is with you now and you are not going to let him down! I have over the last few years turned into a proper growly mama bear! 🤣

That family finding delay is shocking. In my experience, children’s services close ranks and issues get ignored or retro justified but I’ve let off steam by having my say at a LAC review with the IRO there to at least hear my frustration and the social worker involved had to sit and listen. It got me nowhere but I needed to say my piece.

I am delighted to see how cross you are Poppet because it shows how far your attachment has come from those initial difficult days. It is a good moment when you realise you would do anything to protect them and feel deeply their pain if you see what I mean. It shows a deep connection.
As far as social work , family finder failings go ! Well as a fc and adoptor I am passed the point of being shocked as I have seen so much bad practice over the years. Very sad but true !

I echo all that @flapjackfairy said! It is great that you are in fighting spirit for him. My advice is to let of steam here but conserve your energy for continuing to care for and promote your attachement with him. In my experience as flapjack said social workers will close rank on each other and hard to fight no matter how much we know they have not come close to good practice.

On an aside I live for the day that I read about a successful case where adoptive parents take social services to court for damages done to their children while in their care because of unjust delays and poor practice. I feel that often social services are spending so much time making sure birth parents have no opportunities to appeal or take them to court for not giving them opportunities to parent their children that they forget to put the child at the centre. Maybe if they thought that in the future more and more adoptive parents would be suing on behalf of their traumatised children they would get their finger out and put the child at the centre.

@Thepinklady77 Well said, couldn't agree more! 🙌

Maybe if they thought that in the future more and more adoptive parents would be suing on behalf of their traumatised children they would get their finger out and put the child at the centre.
In all honesty I’d support my DD to sue then herself when she turns 18 - the standard of care she received was utterly shocking and yes I think it’ll take care experienced young adults (or parents) to start action against local authorities before much is done to tighten up practice and place the child at the centre.

Thanks everyone. Just felt a bit down today and needed to let off some steam to people that would get it. I guess all that matters is that we are doing the best we can for him now.

I live for the day that I read about a successful case where adoptive parents take social services to court for damages done to their children while in their care because of unjust delays and poor practice. Me too.

Vent away.