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Adoption

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Original poster

This is probably going to sound ridiculous...

13 replies

poppet31 · 07/02/2020 09:30

...but my toddler (nearly 3 and with us for almost 6 months) is obsessed with Alexa and I think it's starting to get really unhealthy. He can't say her name properly so will stand beside her and scream 'Ale, ale, ale' and gets really distressed if I don't make her come on. He does this throughout the day. We tried taking her away but he got so upset and started saying 'ale pull (pull plug) away' and crying that we had to bring her back as I honestly think he thinks she's a person and it was just another loss for him. I try to distract him as much as possible but I worry it's starting to affect our attachment because he's so focused on her. I know it sounds a bit silly but I feel like I need to do something about it as it's distressing him so much. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Fakinit03 · 07/02/2020 09:59

I know a lot of non adopted kids who are as addicted to Alexa to be honest! I think they just really love the cause and effect behind it. And 3 Yr olds are really good at making a huge fuss over small things. I don't know your son so I can't really say but this doesn't sound too far from the behaviour I get from my birth son (also 3)!

nowaypep · 07/02/2020 09:59

Hi Poppet - a friend had a similar situation (with a bio child), and she bought a speaking teddy bear and named it Alexa and said that the old Alexa had transformed into this bear. It worked! And now she doesn't use her Echos any more.

I hope all is well with you. I mainly lurk on these boards (have done for 18 months) and am about to start introductions soon. Sending a hug for all you've experienced so far. You have such strength xx

Original poster

poppet31 · 07/02/2020 11:23

We are doing a lot better thanks. I probably just overthink small day to day things like this but I hate seeing him so distressed. He's happily playing with play dough now and seems to have forgotten her for 10mins!

OP posts:

sassygromit · 07/02/2020 13:07

The teddy bear is a good idea. OP I would spend some time with him getting him to repeat the different sounds after you, many times - "a" "a" "a" then "le" "le" and so on until he has got it. He will thank you. Just keep at it and he will almost certainly be aware you are trying to help. I think (delving back into my distant memory) some children do have problems with "le" so it might be slow - and it might be a different sound - I can't remember.

It is good to overthink the small things sometimes - you will get used to inventing on the hoof strategies to deal with small dramas as time goes on!

sassygromit · 07/02/2020 13:33

PS based on what you have said, it may well be that his comprehension is far in advance of his speech

user1471555041 · 07/02/2020 14:20

I could have written this myself. Our AS who’s 1.5 is obsessed with Alexa, I’ve even heard him calling her when he’s going off to sleep at night. We hardly use it but he is obsessed!!
Glad we’re not the only one... x

nowaypep · 07/02/2020 15:05

@poppet31 glad you're okay. I was thinking about this and I wonder if it's a control thing for children. During your prep group did you do the task where one person had to ignore the other when they were trying to get their attention? To introduce feelings of panic, fear, etc at being ignored? Perhaps - and this is a long shot - not having Alexa respond to him makes him feel a bit like this? That he knows Alexa should always respond and he feels rejected and scared when she doesn't?

Or, maybe I'm massively overthinking this and he's being like many other toddlers who are obsessed with Alexas, iPhones, tablets, etc...!

Jannt86 · 07/02/2020 15:30

I have a 9YO niece who's obsessed with our Alexa .... I think it's fairly normal

sassygromit · 07/02/2020 17:05

I had assumed it was more to do with speech frustration, because of He can't say her name properly so will stand beside her and scream 'Ale, ale, ale' and gets really distressed if I don't make her come on but I might have misinterpreted of course!

Hotwaterbottlelove · 07/02/2020 17:48

Children love Alex because she always responds and doesn't argue or say no or make them wait. They get an instant gratification and sense of control that they don't get from adult human interaction. My goddaughter was obsessed with mine. She then cried and moaned for three days straight until her mother bought one for their home. Now she talks to her endlessly. She is 5.

Knitwit99 · 07/02/2020 20:22

You know you can change Alexa's name? You could change it to something he can say well enough for her to respond to him?

But I guess he then might not be able to make her understand his question so that's maybe not any help.

ifchocolatewerecelery · 07/02/2020 21:48

We say good night to ours every day

121Sarah121 · 09/02/2020 07:49

I would suggest he is frustrated at not being able to communicate. Can you change the name to something he can say? What is he asking it to do? If it’s music, do you have a CD player he can learn to use? It could also be a cause and effect thing especially if he is developmentally delayed. Do you have any electronic toys where you push buttons and something happens? He might enjoy toys like that. Just a thought.

I am glad to hear you and your son are doing well. Unfortunately sometimes we need to reach crisis point before anyone will listen.

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