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Adoption

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Extra support at pre-school

5 replies

Somebodystired · 30/01/2020 10:13

DS(3) has been with us for two years now and is happy, settled and stable. He started at pre-school back in September, just before he turned 3 so he will be there for two full school years before going to school. They are brilliant.

Last week his keyworker asked if she could have a chat with me this week to talk about strategies - tbh I thought she meant potty training as he's struggling a little bit with it (massive improvements but usually one accident a day).

We had this catch up this morning and basically he's struggling a lot with changes to routines, which we knew anyway. He took a couple of weeks to settle back in after the Christmas break, but he has settled now (her words). They are struggling with moving him on from one activity to another, particularly getting him to finish playing and get coat/bag together at the end of the day ready to come home.

They would like to get someone in from the equalities & inclusion team to ensure they are doing everything they can to support him and make his day a bit less stressful. I should note that he goes 5 days a week (was 3 days up until start of January), absolutely loves it there, and we never have any trouble getting him to go to pre-school. He looks forward to it. His behaviour is generally okay, he can be loud and a bit of a whirlwind but is lovely and affectionate and happy. He plays nicely with the other children and is starting to make friends.

Basically I know he is doing well, he has made huge improvements since he started going there (his speech in particular has come on fantastically). He is happy, he enjoys it, and it's a small pre-school with the same four ladies working there every day who I trust and who do a great job. The fact they want to ensure they are doing everything they can to support him is wonderful, I KNOW it's a good thing....so why am I sat here crying to myself? I just feel so sad that he needs this support. That he's struggling. That I didn't realise how much he was struggling.

No idea why I'm posting but just need to get it out to people who get it, I suppose.

OP posts:
Happydaysareheretostaywayhay · 30/01/2020 10:59

I wouldn’t read to much into it to be honest. They sound great and it could be that they are just looking for some extra reassurance that they are getting things right for him. I do know how you feel, my lo is about the same age and I desperately cling onto the hope that she wont have too many difficulties, just because I want her to have as easy and happy a life as possible given her difficult start x

Somebodystired · 30/01/2020 11:35

They really are great, we have struck gold with them.

You're exactly right though, it's that he has had such a difficult start to life that I just want him to have an easy childhood.

OP posts:
Onceuponatimethen · 31/01/2020 16:18

No advice just an un mn hug

Allington · 01/02/2020 11:12

A hug from me as well. You love him and want him to be safe and happy - so of course it hurts to think of him being upset.

It sounds like he is in a very caring and supportive pace, and together you will all help him through this.

twinnywinny14 · 16/02/2020 18:20

I am a nursery senco and have recently done lots of research regarding attachment disorder and trauma. There are lots of similarities in behaviours to other conditions such as autism, where children struggle to cope with transitions and changes. It may be that early trauma may be causing these underlying issues, having additional support and advice sounds like a great idea for the nursery who sound like they are doing brilliantly in identifying his needs

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