Post adoption support

[Rocsand03]

Anybody else feel like everyone you know has buggered off since you adopted? Our ds really needs his family around him and we just don’t see anybody.

They are most likely giving you space because they think it is right. If you need some support you need to ask for it. It's good to have time alone with your new child but you do need support too.

It’s been seven and a half years. We just don’t see anybody like we used to

Oh sorry, I thought you meant it was a recent adoption.

Then I cannot understand it. I'm so sorry.

We do not see much if the limited family we have. We gave made friends through church who we see fairly often and I kind of think of them as a sort if family.

My children's grandparents are elderly now and when the kids were younger they were still quite old and struggled with the noise a bit.

Why do you think that is ? We have a very small family who two hours away, and while they adore my son were never going to feature very much in our day to day lives. We visit each school holiday and my son speaks to his nanny every week on the phone. We have tons of friends though.
You say your son really needs his family round him, what do you feel that he needs to get from them or is missing out on? I know the answer may seem obvious but I have many friends with different family set ups, only children, parents died when they were children, grandparents died before the kids were born, single parents like me. So lots of missing family for want of a better description but you have to make the best of what you have.
To be honest most of my day to day support comes from other adopters or fellow mums of children with ASD. Maybe you need to branch out and make other connections.?

I have a massive family and he has lots of cousins. He’s an only child for us and i would have liked him to see them more. They are all a good but older than him and have gone their separate ways as they do. I’m just sad for him he’s never been out with anybody or done anything. Nobody has ever offered other than one who we do see regularly. I looked after all theirs

We are the same tbh and only a year in. Both families clearly care for and love our daughter but neither really bothers to offer any kindof support. The tiny amount of support we've had we had to really ask for it. It's heartbreaking especially when you see cousins who are getting absolutely doted on and a sister in law who is given everything she could ever need but you know what? I kindof knew that this would be the case before we adopted and always told myself that my husband and I would be all our children ever need so we're just cracking on. It can be exhausting and frustrating but it's also liberating. I enjoy spending time with my LO and am slowly losing the ense of duty to get her to see her extended family at weekends etc and instead we do what we want and need to do. The house gets tidied, she gets taken out. That can't be a bad thing. You have my sympathy though. Just try and get on with life. You have all you'll ever need right in front of you xx

As one said church and similar org's. youth clubs , sports clubs you may find have something too offer. there is an org on Webb which is dedicated too helping people too meet people in your and all areas. www.meetup.org