Anyone here adopted a child after having a biological child?

[juniperlily]

DP and I have a 2 year old DD and have started thinking about where we see things going. We have both reached a similar feeling that we would like to grow our family but we are not sure that we want to have a baby again.

Reasons include very difficult birth with DD including life threatening complications for both of us and not in all honesty wanting to go back to the early days with a small baby after having had a traumatic time. But also very importantly we both believe that we have a loving family to offer to a child who might otherwise have no security or loving upbringing. The earth is pretty full already so why not love one of the children already here...?

We are not ready yet to start applying (for starters need to get on property market with extra bedroom!) but it's something we are exploring and wanting to find more out about. I think we would be looking at a child either 2 years younger or older than our DD when the came.

Just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation and how it has gone for them?

And what has family said about it? Ours have mostly been suspicious of the idea, and seem to think that adoption is only for people who cannot have biological children themselves. (Their opinion does not really matter to us, it certainly wouldn't stop us, but we were interested that they weren't more supportive!)

Thanks in advance for any input.

Welcome 😁 Both of my kids are adopted, but there are a lot of adopters on here who have adopted after having a birth child.

I just wanted to say that you would need the child to be younger than your existing child, plus two years would be really be a minimum age gap, some agencies will only place 3 years minimum apart, but depends where you are.

Have a read on here and start thinking about additional needs, trauma, attachment. Also, your practical arrangements, someone potentially needing to be at home etc.

It sounds like you've got a bit of time to think about it. Best of luck with your investigations.

I have both a birth child and adopted child. My adopted child is 2 years younger.

The process took us 2 years to complete and we started it when our daughter was 3. We went with a voluntary agency and they were very supportive and helped us find our son.

Adoption is another way of growing a family and found friends and family very supportive. My son is as much a part of our family as our daughter.

I took a year off work and went back part time. This has been right for our family.

If you have any questions please ask. It’s a very exciting time

I’m not an adopter, but am close to a couple who adopted with a prior biological child — their daughter was around four when they started the process and six when their new toddler was placed.

The kids are now fourteen and eleven, and I would say things are probably more complex now than before — their biological daughter was recently diagnosed with ADH, and is a school refuser, and their adopted son has needed a lot of additional support, and post-adoption support from their LA has not been very forthcoming. My friends have had to work extremely hard to access help for both children, and I know they have worried a lot about the effects of so much parental attention going to their son for years, when of course they had not anticipated their daughter’s vulnerabilities, and sometimes berate themselves for not recognising the extent of her issues earlier.

I should emphasise that this is a normal, functioning family, but my friends are definitely doing ‘parenting plus’, and it’s not been an easy ride with either child. I think they would advise a lot of research about the possible ongoing needs of adopted children, and potential repercussions for older siblings, who may of course have additional needs of their own.

We've got 2 BC and 1AC. We started the process when DC2 was nearly 2yrs old. It was unusual for them to take us on with him so young, but it's worked. He was 3 and a bit when AC arrived.

I have one older BS and one AS. They are a year apart. BS was nearly three when his brother came home. No regrets here!

Our birth daughter was 9 when 3 year old adopted son came to us.

Our dd is on the spectrum, which we did not know when we adopted.

Our children are very much loved and wanted but it has not been easy.

Read lots and talk together lots.

Feel free to ask me anything.