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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

What is the thing you miss most from your child free life?

27 replies

Thepinklady77 · 04/01/2020 10:20

Just asking this for a bit of fun and also I suppose off loading. Whilst I would not swap my children for the world the one big thing I miss is when sick you can just take to your bed for as long as you need. Not having to pull yourself up and muddle through pain and tiredness with children who become very dysregulated when someone is sick. Thankfully I am rarely sick but when I am it seems to take forever to recover now as I don’t get the rest I need!!

What things do others miss?

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121Sarah121 · 04/01/2020 10:31

A tidy clean house! And not having to apologise to everyone who comes in about the mess. No matter how hard I work it is never clean or tidy! (I’ve given up trying and resigned the fact it will be like this ever more)

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Topbird29 · 04/01/2020 11:05

Spontaneity to be able to do whatever you want, whenever. Not just nights out, but even just to pop the the shop because you fancy something. Or if you want to see a film at say 6pm, but can't as dh not back from work until 6.30, so no one there to look after kids. We do get to go out and do our own things, but requires planning and calendar co-ordination 😊😊

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tldr · 04/01/2020 17:02

Free brain space!!

My head is so full, it never stops. Most of it just normal mum stuff, a not insignificant portion is the added adoption stuff.

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CabbagePatchCheryl · 04/01/2020 17:23

Omg ALL of the above. I just miss my alone time - I used to love getting up in the morning and sitting quietly with a cup of tea. I didn’t realise until our LO came along how much I needed peace - both from other people and from the constant cog-whirring of my brain. Also, I miss my car (had to swap it for DH’s tank for car seat convenience) and using the loo without an audience.

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poppet31 · 04/01/2020 17:51

Definitely being able to have a day in bed when ill. Any tv between the hours of 8-8 that isn't CBeebies! And over the Christmas holiday, I have just missed being able to have a lazy day or do anything spontaneous. Our little one doesn't cope with new places so we are confined to the same handful of parks, soft play etc and it can feel pretty suffocating at times. Pretty much everything when I really think about it!

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hidinginthenightgarden · 04/01/2020 17:55

The ability to decide I want to leave the house...and actually just do it! The amount of prep taken and time to leave the house with kids is draining! By the time we are ready I cannot be bothered to leave.

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Thepinklady77 · 04/01/2020 20:34

My life long ambition has been to be a mummy and I love the role and responsibility now that is here but I don’t think I appreciated my carefree years enough lol!

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darkriver19886 · 04/01/2020 21:21

For me when i wasn't child free it was the itch to play computer games. I always waited until the girls were in bed. Also the ability to just get up and leave.

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Bobbi73 · 04/01/2020 21:34

Long uninterrupted sleep! I used to work long hours and I loved the feeling of finally getting into bed and staying there for as long as I wanted.
Nipping out for a quick drink or food.
Lazy Sundays, eating when I want, watching movies I like and maybe ordering takeout when I can't be bothered to move.
Disposable income.
Going out for a big night out without endless planning....

Wouldn't change anything though 😀

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expatinspain · 04/01/2020 21:38

Money and freedom!

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Bouledeneige · 04/01/2020 21:44

My DD went to university last term and if all goes well my son will go off this autumn. I am on my own and I cannot begin to describe how much I miss them. All the mess, wet towels on the floor, cups and plates left lying around. Their fun and energy, my DD singing in her room, spirit and kindness, I miss it all the time. Enjoy the memory of freedom, till you have it again. Its awful - they are what keeps you and your spirit alive.

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ifchocolatewerecelery · 04/01/2020 22:05

Not having to get out of bed in the morning on my days off. Also never went back to work and find being a SAHM can be lonely, hubby works long hours to make up the difference.

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MNOPQ · 05/01/2020 06:33

@Bouledeneige

My DD went to university last term and if all goes well my son will go off this autumn. I am on my own and I cannot begin to describe how much I miss them. All the mess, wet towels on the floor, cups and plates left lying around. Their fun and energy, my DD singing in her room, spirit and kindness, I miss it all the time. Enjoy the memory of freedom, till you have it again. Its awful - they are what keeps you and your spirit alive.

The same here, my DC1 goes back to second term of university in the morning and I'm so sad about it.

I watched this thread to try and remind me of the good bits, but like you, I miss it so much.

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MNOPQ · 05/01/2020 06:42

Sorry for thread derail j

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MNOPQ · 05/01/2020 06:45

Whoops & sorry for the thread derail - small children are so tough and I remember comments like mine and PP's being so irritating when the children were smaller.

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veejayteekay · 05/01/2020 07:44

Definitely agree about spontaneity and time alone. I miss our spontaneous weekends when we would just book somewhere to stay for the night! And yes our house is a state all the time. I never have time to do housework so everything looks so manky. I wouldn't change him for the world but alone time is the hardest for me!

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Thepinklady77 · 05/01/2020 08:08

@MNOPQ and @Bouledeneige you have certainly not re-railed the thread. I think we all know we need to cherish these days as one day they will be gone and the house will be empty again. I remember a friend saying that when her children left home her husband and her almost split up! They literally did not know how to communicate when it did not involve the children. When they were no longer spending their free time being a non paid taxi driver they were forced into each other’s company and had to start dating each other all over again.

Lovely to hear that your children are all doing very well.

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SimonJT · 05/01/2020 11:24

Sleep
Pooing with an audience
Watching TV at any hour of the day
Nights out
My sanity!

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darkriver19886 · 05/01/2020 11:40

My sanity!

@SimonJT sanity is totally overrated haha

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Strugglingmum73 · 05/01/2020 11:44

I miss the lack of worry. Once you become a parent there always seems to be something to worry about and I suspect there always will be.

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tldr · 05/01/2020 12:14

Oh god yes! The lack of worry!

It occurred to me at some point that right from when you decide to become a parent (by any means) your carefree days are over forEVER.

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Hitchyhero · 05/01/2020 17:48

Those days when your ill and you could sleep it off.

Being ill is 100x worse when you have a little one and have to get up at 7am and do your usual routine!

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Weatherforducks · 05/01/2020 19:37

I might get hate mail from this as I recently admitted it to someone in rl and they were shocked I said it. But I miss the lovely, laid back adult Christmas days me and DH used to have - we just used to suit our own needs. Of course, Christmas is magical in other ways now, but my feet don’t touch the ground until their bedtime. I have made some rookie mistakes though - next year, no matter how few pieces are in each toy, everything will be made up before hand. I have spent every waking hour over Christmas putting bloody toys together, building Lego, replacing batteries and getting rid of endless unnecessary packaging.

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ifchocolatewerecelery · 05/01/2020 20:32

@Hitchyhero oh god I forgot about the illness thing! I had norovirus last year accompanied by a 2 year old who just wanted to jump up and down on me in play 🤢

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Mrsdoubtfireswig · 07/01/2020 23:07

Eating with two hands rather than shovelling everything in to my gob with a fork in between feeding LO, food actually being hot, drinking hot cup of tea

Being able to nip out to shops without last minute nappy change / changing bag / drinks and snacks and calpol ‘just in case’

Being able to go up and downstairs without either bringing them up with me / place in safe space / faff with baby gates - even to just put washing away!

Being able to go out after 7pm without faff of babysitter (single parent)

Being able to just put the dishwasher on once a day with just after work dishes - rather than the multiple times and multiple preparing of meals and snacks. As soon as we’ve finished one it seems like it’s time for the next!

As pp said - the lack of worry ! Replaced by a constant need to watch and monitor

Being able to lie in past 7am on day off (am aware that a 7am get up is more palatable than most children’s get up time!)

Thank god we love them !!

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