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Food relationship after being malnourished

3 replies

BlackNails · 01/01/2020 07:40

Recently placed DD is a toddler. She was starved in infancy. Since she came to us a couple of weeks ago her appetite seems to be ever-increasing. She basically seems to be a bottomless pit where food is concerned.
I'm assuming that there could be a link between her early life of being starved (to the point of people being fearful she might not survive) and emotions just now about her new placement with us. Am I being daft to link the two or is it possible that feeling insecure/anxious may translate into food seeking/over-eating.
If you've previously experienced over-eating/food seeking with your ACs, how did you deal with it in a young child (under 2). She doesn't food horde/get into the cupboards but she does seem to want to eat constantly.

OP posts:
2mums1son · 01/01/2020 08:14

Our son, 3 at placement, has an voracious appetite-we don’t know what his very life experiences were with food but BM has an eating disorder so I presume not great. We tend to offer three big meals, plenty of fruit available as snacks and try not to make too big a deal of it. It’s a way he tries to control the world and by us making sure we know he is never actually hungry it doesn’t control us or him.

121Sarah121 · 01/01/2020 09:38

My son was also 3 when he moved in with us. Food was a huge issue. He was grotesquely overweight before taken into care (at almost 2) which was a sign of his neglect (didn’t know when next meal was coming so would over eat). His foster carers didn’t have set meal times which added to his fear of when his next meal was coming.

I realised within a day or 2 that food was a huge issue. I limited portion sizes (didn’t know when to stop. Made himself unwell a few times) and fed him often (breakfast at 6am fruit at 730am snack at 10am lunch at 12noon fruit at 2pm snack at 330pm dinner at 5pm) but much smaller portion sizes (about a third of an adults). It was so bad I couldn’t even cook in the house because he would dysregulate at the smell of food. My mum would have to cook at her house and I would freeze it until needed so it was just 2 mins in tv e microwave. It was that bad!!!

He has been placed over a year now and we’ve made huge progress. We can be a bit more flexible with times and he enjoys cooking with me. On occasion he has told me he is full!!! I am so proud :) I think for him food will be a long term issue but one I know we can take control if needed

SimonJT · 01/01/2020 10:45

My son was almost two when he came to me, he had been starved as a baby and been given limited types of solid food.

He would only eat beans, bread and any frozen potato product e.g smiley faces. He would eat until every scrap of food was gone no matter how much I gave him. Once I realised this I started limiting his meal sizes more, but slightly more was given at snack time and if he showed he was hungry he was always given food.

It took about six months for him to leave food he liked due to feeling full.

He had a huge aversion to new foods as well, which was also age related. After two weeks, which looking back was probably too early I started putting a new food on his plate at every single meal time, I would tell him what it was then it wasn’t mentioned again. When he reliably started eating it another food would be introduced and so on.

He’s now 4.5, he still becomes ‘hungry’ if he is very anxious, but he just wants to know the food is there. So just putting a banana or whatever out is enough for his ‘hunger’ to be managed. He now regularly doesn’t finish meals, especially if it’s something ‘boring’ or he wants to get back to playing. He now has food preferences, he does not like olives or aubergine, where as before he would have eaten them.

He is still a scavenger, at school he will get food out of the bins or pick food up off the floor. He doesn’t normally eat it, it normally gets shoved in his pocket.

Now he’s a bit older we can talk about food a bit more, he knows that BM didn’t give him enough food. He always knows what we are eating that day, I have laminated pictures of different meals that we velcro onto a board in the kitchen. We do it together in the morning, he has recently been able to cope if I rush us out in the morning and forget to do it.

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