Social worker linking visit

[Foxinsocks90]

Wondering if anyone is able to share their experience. We've been potentially linked to a lovely sibling pair, and the social worker is coming out to visit us (they are from a different agency than the one we got approved with- we are with a VA). We've been told if this goes well we'll be invited to a life appreciation day and a bump into, with a view to book matching panel.
Can anyone share what sort of questions they were asked during this meeting? Did they go through your entire house/ask to see the local area? Any guidance on what sorts of things they are looking for? TIA!

Hi
We asked about how he was developing, what his routines were like, what was he like. Likes/dislikes etc. We asked if he went to playgroups and what he was like with other children and adults. We both come from big families so we need that to not phase him. I think they looked at the room that was to become his but not the whole house. She asked about the local area - she looked at the garden etc etc. I think they are looking to check the kids will fit in well and that you are a good fit for them.

In our case, when our kids’ social worker came to visit us for the first time, we prepared a briefing pack for her - this included for example a summary of us and photos of us and our families; photos of our house and the kids’ bedrooms; a list of potential nurseries and schools close to our house and their OFSTED ratings; a list of parks, playgrounds, the closest GP and hospital; a table where we set out the key issues/needs we identified in the kids’ PCR and how we were planning on addressing these. We printed a couple of copies in colour for the social worker to take with her and share with her manager. We mainly prepared for the home visit by studying the PCR and making a list of the potential needs of the children and how we would deal with these. We found that most of the questions we got asked were linked to these.

Bloody hell thats a lot of work. Our visit was really informal, the children’s social worker and her senior came, had coffee and basically talked about the children, their backgrounds, how they settled in foster care and explained from their point of view the strengths they saw in us and how they might relate to parenting the children.

We asked questions about concerns we had, explored any concerns the SW had and, I think, they might have looked at the kids bedrooms but I can’t remember. We talked about local schools and clubs etc but not in any great detail. The SW basically said she thought we were entirely right for the children they had in mind and the various meetings followed down the line.

The whole point of the meeting is to get a sense of who you are and what you might be able to offer these children, try not to fret too much.

Yes, I know it was a lot of work, but we really really really wanted to be matched with our current sons! So we did as much as we could to prove to the social worker that we had thought very carefully about adopting them. :)

I've said this on threads like this before, but remember that this is essentially a job interview to be these kids' parents. Of course ask questions, but remember to show your enthusiasm and outline how you think you could meet their needs. Hope it goes well

And linking to the comment above, I actually met a couple who didn’t get selected for a match after a home visit because they had a) asked too many questions about the adoption process rather than the children (which somehow showed that they needed more preparation before being matched) and b) had conflicting responses to the social worker’s questions which demonstrated that they hadn’t discussed and agreed how to deal with certain issues as a united couple in advance of the visit. So, yes, these home visits can be like a job interview. Also in many cases social workers visit more than one couple so you end up competing with others. Anything you can do to stand out is always a plus.

Thanks guys.

@JohnPA- this sounds exactly the sort of thing I'd do! Luckily the local primary school held a community day which hosted all the children's services and clubs available under one roof- so I went leaflet shopping with the children in mind for my 'portfolio'!

I think it sounds like we need a healthy middle ground @jellycatspyjamas- relaxed but prepared and enthusiastic.

I've already read the board suggestions of ensuring the house isn't clean to hospital standard too!

It wasn’t intended as a criticism, The process is involved and stressful enough without folk thinking they need the answer to every single question at the initial meeting with the child’s social worker or do lots of work for their initial visit. Some people are naturally quite organised, process information in quite a structured way etc and others aren’t, the important thing is that however you do things you’re as genuine and authentic as possible. Where I am the social worker would only meet one couple at a time to see if they were suitable rather than meeting two or more and picking the “best”, so it’s not a directly competitive process.

As a SW myself whose been on the other side of these meetings, I want to get a sense of the kind of people I’d be placing the child with, that they are warm, friendly, interested in the child and have some idea of how the child would fit in that particular home. In saying that, all the personalities come in to play too so what one worker might consider warm and friendly, another might think was too casual, what one worker thinks is organised another might see as too much. There’s simply no one way of guaranteeing the outcome you want, but I’d hate for people to think they need to go to those lengths unless that’s how they naturally come at things. At the end of the day no amount of preparation, information, portfolios or spreadsheets would see me place a child unless I thought it was the right place for them.

The SWs clearly thought you were a good match, my hope is that would always have been the case.

Thanks @jellycatspyjamas, that's really helpful, and a really useful perspective. I imagine it must be a bit perplexing reading our side of it sometimes when you have sat on the other side too -as it were.
It's so hard when you feel like you don't want to 'mess up'!

As a parent, especially of young children, you obviously need to be very organised sometimes at short notice. For example, you need to think ahead about which breakfast, snacks and meals you are going to prepare for your kids; you need to make sure that their school clothes are washed and ready to wear; that you always carry a bag with you with nappies (depending on age), tissues, snacks, water, and spare clothes in case they get messy; that you make sure that they wake up on time to get ready for school and that they go to bed on time as well; etc. The list could go on. Being organised is in my opinion an essential criteria for any adoptive parent and I would be very surprised if a social worker didn’t think this was important (among other things). I think preparing a ‘portfolio’ for the social worker is a great way of demonstrating that you are an organised person and that you thought carefully about the children’s needs. I don’t think this would be interpreted as being too much. The social worker is visiting you instead of other people because she has obviously concluded you could potentially be a good match. Anything that you can do to show that you could be a good parent for the children is a good initiative in my opinion. And I’m not sure if I agree with the comment you read about cleanliness. You obviously don’t need to have a house looking like a hospital, but it definitely should be clean and organised. Living in a clean and organised environment are also important things for many adopted children.

Thanks @JohnPA- I think the emphasis there is on 'hospital standards'. Obviously my house will be clean, tidy and uncluttered- I'm just not going to book a day off work and buy shares in Zoflora. I think the inference on the threads I've read is that you shouldn't come across as being anal about cleanliness, and there should be room for your children to ingratiate into the home, making it theirs. The children I'm aware of aren't particularly big fans of Mrs Hinch (tongue in cheek comment).
As I said before, I think I'm more naturally inclined to be like you and produce a semi portfolio of things for the social workers to take away and share with the team- a really good idea I thought. I currently work at Board level so organisation and administration is a huge element of what I already do day in day out! I do think @jellycatspyjamas comment was still valid in striking a good balance though, and it was good to hear from a social workers perspective on what the most important things are about the meeting.

Thank you both for sharing your experience!