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Adoption

Did you buy the FC anything?

14 replies

RoomForMore · 11/11/2019 18:05

Hi all,

Just wondering if any adopters here bought something for the foster carer when the little one/s moved to you. I'm not sure what the etiquette is but really want to show how much we appreciate them, and to say thank you for loving our little one while we've been waiting.

TIA

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Thepinklady77 · 11/11/2019 18:59

We bought flowers and a link for her nomination charm bracelet of a little girl and little boy to remind her of our two. A token gift it appreciated. If there are other children in the family you might want to do a family experience gift card - dinner in a local restaurant, cinema pass etc. I know families find it hard when children move on and often take a day or two to re-group afterwards and do a nice family day. A voucher would help towards that.

We have also been foster carers and our little ones went back home to their birth family. We did not expect gifts from them but were totally blown away by a beautiful canvas with the children’s footprints. It sits pride of place on one of our walls. During intro days you might want to do something like this. Pinterest has some fabulous ideas for handprint and footprint pictures.

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RoomForMore · 11/11/2019 19:46

Lovely ideas @Thepinklady77 thank you! I might wait and see what sort of restaurants / cinema are near where they live as I'm not familiar with the area at all.

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FairyBatman · 11/11/2019 20:12

We bought the FC children some trampolining vouchers.

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sunshineandskyscrapers · 11/11/2019 20:14

I could see it was a huge loss for our FC, so I bought a big bunch of flowers as this seemed like the right thing to do, and they were well received. I also gave a thank you card and signed it from myself and ds. I thought about doing some kind of handprint art with ds during introductions, but this didn't happen.

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Dadoptor123 · 11/11/2019 20:47

We bought vouchers for their family to go to dinner somewhere we knew they liked (as we’d been discussing it during intros!).

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poppet31 · 11/11/2019 22:31

We got them a plant and a hamper from hotel chocolat. And a cat.

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poppet31 · 11/11/2019 22:31

I meant a card 🤦‍♀️. I don't think their dog would have appreciated a cat.

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ifchocolatewerecelery · 11/11/2019 22:54

We didn't do anything as the whole thing was very tense at the time. We have kept in touch though and have met up since.

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jellycatspyjamas · 12/11/2019 15:43

We didn’t, in all honesty I was so caught up preparing for the DC moving to me I didn’t really think about it - things were a bit strained with foster carers too and much was made of their loss by just about everyone involved in the process, by the end of intros I just wanted done. Looking back, it might have been a nice thought but it was totally beyond me at the time.

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MeAndHimAndHer · 13/11/2019 00:12

We took ad home 3 weeks before Christmas so made foster carer a Christmassy hamper. Nothing personal, some treats and a plant from what I remember.
We weren’t massively impressed by fc’s care or by intro process and it was good to have something to hand over as she stood crying at the door while we buckled ad into her car seat! We had to be careful as it was a deprived house in a deprived area and she had made (rather snide) comments about our nice car and us living in a nice area so we didn’t want to embarrass her but also felt that giving nothing would have been noted.
Our fc experience was a bit rubbish so probably not the best advice, sorry.

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RoomForMore · 13/11/2019 11:28

Thanks for sharing ideas and your experiences

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Yabbadabbadoo666 · 14/11/2019 20:06

We did a moon pig card from our lo with a note to say thanks for the love and memories (words to that effect) and a plant for their garden. It was so emotional and things were raw but we felt it was right for us to say thanks.

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Yolande7 · 15/11/2019 18:14

We made a cake for them with the girls during intros and gave them flowers and a vase (which had a connection to my children's background). We have been sending them a Christmas calendar with pics of the girls every year ever since. They are wonderful people and I am very grateful to them.

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veejayteekay · 16/11/2019 14:20

I think it's totally up to you and probably depends on how close you get with them. We chatted to ours quite a lot over WhatsApp on lead up to intros and got quite friendly with them so we felt we wanted to get then something. We got them a v early Xmas hamper! We were a little worried about the etiquette of during intros who pays for what but we tried to pick up a few bits and pieces like coffees etc or brining dessert for dinner when we ate at their house so we felt we'd made a contribution tho they were very generous themselves n insistent not to worry xxx