19MO. Still concerned about her talking

[Jannt86]

Hi all. I adopted a now 19MO girl at 9MO. On the whole she's an utter delight. She has settled in brilliantly. Wicked sense of humour. Comes across as very bright. Can already do small jigsaws and a wizz with her shape sorter and stacking cups and engages really well in imaginative play putting soft toys to bed feeding them etc. My only concern is that she still seems to be struggling to take off with her speech. It's hard to say exactly how many she can say as certain words/phrases seem to fall in and out of fashion with her but I'd say she knows a handful of words at most. It seems to be actually making the sounds that she's finding hard. Eg; she will say 'gaaaa' to mean bye and can say 'more' but it will quite often come out as 'bore'. I talk and sing to her literally none stop. Her receptive language seems if anything quite ahead (she can follow some 2 step commands when she feels like it, knows a lot of shapes, animals and all her body parts, starting to recognise a couple of letters etc) and she's very social and has been pointing and clapping and waving since pretty much the day she came to us and will now sign several nursery rhymes quite well. However this sort of makes it even more concerning that her understanding and her will to communicate are so massively ahead of her expressive language. This has been something I've been keeping a close eye on since she came to us as I quickly noticed that she wasn't really babbling. It took her until about 12 months to really babble. She's had a few hearing tests whilst she's been with us which have been mostly satisfactory although the most recent one indicated congestion and a flat tympanography reading on one side. I am also probably quite sensitive to her development as both parents had a degree of LDs. Although she's so far coming across as pretty bright I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something I'm mindful of. Am I just being a hypocondriac? Should I be pushing for more intervention? Might the hearing be more of an issue than the tests are suggesting? All I'm reading is things saying that even if children catch up with speech if they're not typical with their speech development they will be more likely to struggle with language for life and I just want to do the right thing by my daughter. Any reassurance or advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry if it seems like I'm being a ridiculous worrywart xx

I am no expert at all but my wee girl really didn't say anything much, Daddy, dog, ubby (dummy) until she was about 2 and then suddenly it clicked and now she is 3.5 and has fantastic vocabulary and doesn't stop talking for 13 hours a day. A slow start doesn't necessarily mean anything.

I think it's an adoptive child thing. My LO is 3. Speech was and always has been delayed, more so than anything else.
Only started really coming along in the last month, she's been with us for 11 weeks.
She's had us both intensely for the whole time, constant chatter from us & encouraged to use her words to explain her thoughts

It may well be that she’s just a bit delayed - developmental delay is common in adopted children and regression isnt uncommon following placement. If she’s doing ok in every other measure I’d not worry too much, if her language is more appropriate for a younger child but you’ve seen development she may just have catching up to do. Do keep an eye on her hearing - does the audiologist have any concerns?

I think it's an adoptive child thing.. It's more common if early care has been poor but it's very, very common amongst all kids.

I've got two nephews. At that age one could hardly talk and had delay up to 3 before suddenly catching up. The other could correctly name a douzen dinosaurs and converse fluidly, he seemed like a child genius.

Both now doing similarly well (about average) at school.

Am I just being a hypocondriac?

Nope: check, double check and get professional support. Better safe than sorry - but it's probably nothing.

My daughter was very delayed in her speech from the get go. Has she been slow to meet all speech milestones eg babbling etc? DD was very quiet, didn't babble etc. She was assessed by SLT as 'very severely delayed' at age 2-ish. She also has a hearing problem which compounds the speech issue (she had zero hearing at one point - flat lined the tests - due to severe glue ear and had tubes fitted). Definitely get her hearing screened. I wouldn't ignore your concerns but look to get an assessment (especially if you are going to use the NHS as wait times can be long). DD has two different speech and language disorders which affect her - aphasia and an problem with articulation. Her grammar is weak (she is nearly 10) and it can take her a long time to learn how to say some words. However she can now chatter away and is understandable. When she was 2-3 I feared she would never have good language. She is also severely dyslexic which is often seen hand in hand with speech problems.
I'd really say listen to your concerns, get a hearing test (glue ear can come and go so sometimes they can pass a test and other times fail it) and get a speech therapy assessment organised.

I suspect this is more common in all children than people think. At that age I (not adopted) was about the same - and it continued to about 2.5. I was due to be assessed by audiology etc. However, I'm told that one day I just started speaking paragraphs and didn't shut up ever again

Thanks all. Although quality of caregiver's interactions does play a part the evidence is that generally most speech delays are not caused by this. It's quite annoying really that people assume this because it adds to the stress when you are parenting a slow talker as you know that people are assuming that you just ignore them all day which I can assure you is not the case with my LG nor do I think it was the case with her foster family. We are having her hearing regularly screened but all we keep getting is either that hearing is 'in the normal range for developing speech' or last time the left side was quite congested but they just got grumpy with us because we'd bought her shortly after having a cold. She's quite often catching bugs though so we'd end up never even getting her tested if we did that and surely the point is that it WILL be affecting her hearing if she's constantly congested. It seems they fob you off for ages before they'll actually offer hearing aids/grommets. I'm seriously considering just buying her some hearing aids privately but I know they're not cheap. I know she's not massively behind but I'm just mind blown that the attitude in this country seems to be just 'leave it til they're 3 and wait and see' Children gain most of their language learning capacity BEFORE age 3 so I don't want to just be fobbed off until it's too late. I just want to give her the best chance to succeed in life especially as her BPs have a degree of LDs but don't really know what else I can do at this stage to get her help as her hearing is being regualrly tested and speech therapists will probably laugh at me until she's at least 2. In addition to the above she's also about to start wearing glasses as she has slightly reduced vision x

You're right that speech therapy won't take her on until 2 years - however in some areas there are more informal groups for younger children to promote language development. If you haven't already then contact your Health Visitor who will know what's available locally. You could also ask for her 2 year development review to be done as soon as she turns 2 so that a speech therapy referral can be completed as soon as possible. There's some good resources online with ideas of activities you can do at home, e.g. www.thecommunicationtrust.org.uk/resources/resources/resources-for-parents/
In terms of hearing aids, even if you go privately no responsible audiologist is going to prescribe these unless she has a diagnosed hearing loss. I get that 'watchful waiting' is frustrating; when I was a child there was a culture of over intervention, it's a hard balance to get.

If you’re in Scotland there’s a service that will provide informal S&L support from a fairly early stage eg explaining things that you can do to support speech development and that will fast track a referral if there are more significant concerns. In terms of her hearing, yes that will be affected if she’s regularly gunged up (for lack of a more technical term). What I found helpful was mapping the frequency of infections to show that actually x amount of time there was a lingering infection or bug which then led to some investigations around why my DD was picking things up so regularly in terms of her immune system etc and they did fit grommets, which helped considerably. Might be worth doing - they’ll say it’s typical for children to pick things up in nursery etc but if she’s really struggling with ear infections etc it’s worth taking back evidence that shows it’s more than you’d expect in a child that age.

Hi I'm a foster mum, I've looked after a few little ones with speech delay and it does take them a couple of years to catch up!

Does your little one go to a nursery? I've found that letting the children interact with other children really helps as they like to mimic each other. If she started babbling late then she's likely to be late learning to talk too. We had a LO who couldn't speak a single work when they came to us at 20 mths old but 15 mths later her speech although still not where it should be us improved so much from reading with her and attending nursery.

If she is understanding you and is following commands I wouldn't think hearing aids will do her any good if she has been tested and she has hearing. My eldest birth daughter was deaf in one ear and had a tracheostomy's but her speech was fine.

Happy to answer any other questions xx

She sounds similar to my eldest when he was 2, it turned out his ears were fairly blocked for months - his dr was concerned about damaging his ears by forcing out wax but in hindsight should have sent me along to ENT sooner - ds was v good with comprehension etc too. He didn't speak much until 3 and then talked in sentences, and his speech and vocab is now excellent (when he wants it to be) and he is bilingual.

I wasn't overly worried, but I did get him to repeat sounds to practice them - like "beeee" and "kaaay" and so on and he enjoyed that... No idea if that helped but his enunciation is very good now! When he wants to be.

I also spoke to a speech therapist on the phone just to check - she was too busy to see me but we talked it through and she was not concerned.

Sometimes when you are a very attentive parent it means that they talk less as they don't have to.

But bottom line is that if you are concerned, it is worth pursuing things privately. It might be worth talking to a speech therapist on the phone to get advice.

PS - my ds is bio not adopted, forgot to say.

Your daughter sounds way ahead of my 19 month old. He doesn't do jigjaws or shakes. His receptive language is very good and understands most I throw at him.... But he doesn't speak proper words (even though I know he knows them).

@Hitchyhero I'm so glad you said that! My almost 19 month old is a big chatter box and parrots everything we say but doesn't do any of the other things @Jannt86 says - I'm gobsmacked that your AD can do puzzles and knows shapes or does imaginative play! That's amazing! They all develop at their own pace and have their own strengths. Sometimes I think we adopters are too keen to look for issues when really all kids are just different - I say that as an adopter of three kids, my middle AS only a year older than my youngest didn't speak much until he was just over 2 and is still behind on speech and language compared to many kids his age. But his gross motor skills and coordination are incredible and he's been riding a bike since before his 2nd bday, they all have different strengths and I try not to worry about it too much

Hi, we adopted our daughter age 9months. No substantial neglect as with FC from birth. Daughter is now 5.

Speech was very delayed and we took her to a speech and language drop in age 2.5. They sent her for a hearing test, eventually diagnosed with glue ear. A year later (yes a year on the waiting list) and age 3 she finally had the operation and could hear. Speech did improve substantially after this. However 7months later still significantly delayed. Couldn't form words properly either. Couldn't make herself understood but could follow instructions. Finally referred to speech and language and put on another waiting list. Took 8months for someone to assess her. Confirmed she needed speech therapy. Meanwhile she has started school, way behind her peers. They all speak clearly and she is still struggling to be understood. Hopefully therapy starting in a couple of months.

I asked whether her hearing would be the main culprit and they said not necessarily, some kids just develop in this way.

So basically, get her on the hearing test list and take her to a drop in. Then be prepared for years of waiting!

We did get middle AS hearing tested btw and had same result as your AD, hearing ok but flat tymp and some congestion. I think it's quite common and may explain why language isn't their strength but we're told they'll catch and not to worry

Sorry just read you have had her hearing screened. Sadly speech and language are not interested usually until they are 4. I totally get what you mean about people assuming you ignore your child etc. The amount of times a professional has told me to "never correct her but repeat back what she says" is ridiculous. I pointed out to one that I do it so much out of habit that I actually never have a normal conversation because it's either me repeating back what she has said to help her to hear it or me repeating it back because I don't bloody know if I've understood. And no, it hasn't helped a bit I don't think. I am so fed up of not being about to talk to my child about her day at school. That's a whole other thread though!

My LO is adopted and it definitely affected all areas of her development. She more or less put everything on hold for 6 months as she came to terms with the loss and trauma of moving in with us. A large part of that was about learning to understand us. Although she'd been with FCs who spoke English like us, they had a different accent and used different words to describe things than we did (I am being deliberately vague here to avoid pinpointing our location in the U.K.). Her nursery did an assessment on her that basically said that if they hadn't observed her interactions with other children they would've assumed she had speech and language issues because she used non verbal methods of communication with them unless she really had to speak.

Yes I'm not too sure what they should typically be able to do at this age ITO jigsaws etc but I feel like she's quite advanced with that. And her imaginitive play is just lovely and hilarious. She spent lots of today 'changing her soft toy's nappies' and I kept making the toys cry and run away from her like she does when I'm changing her nappy which she found hilarious It's perhaps just that she needs that bit of time to catch up with her speech as everything else is just great. I think it's just a hard one coz it's something I'm aware they may struggle to catch back up with if something isn't done in those first few years. I've looked at some of the free resources about ways to help and honestly I do all the things recommended in abundance so I don't know what more I personally can do. I've had a good chat with DH about it. Firstly she said 'bubbles' at bathtime apparently so that's another word to add and she does seem to be picking them up faster and faster at the moment. We've sortof agreed to give her til she's 2 but then not take no for an answer if she's not significantly caught up. They do know how to worry us but mine amazes me every day too and I'm sure some day soon she'll amaze me by suddenly saying 'well you see mother the square root of pi is' .... not to mention all the naughty words that have been coming out of mummy's mouth for the past few months