Adopting with pets

[trendingsomewhere]

Anyone have experience adopting/applying to be an adopter when you have pets?
I have a cat and a dog.
I understand there might be a situation where you might be asked/want to re-home your pets because adopted child/children is unpleasant to the pets.
What about pre-adoption, I thing my pets are lovely and well behaved - but they both have free-range of my home and sleep on my bed most nights....is this frowned upon? (I doubt I would be adopting a baby if I was accepted).
Do I need to work on training my pets to sleep elsewhere - this might take some time!

Our 2 dogs had free range before we adopted and slept on the bed. We used and still use stair gates to keep them separate. They now sleep downstairs because LO often comes in with me after a bad dream, when ill, missing daddy, etc but they didn't at the start. Getting to this point has been hard as it was a lot of change after 5 years of free roam, especially as one is a barker when he wants something.

To clarify, you would also be expected to rehome your pets if they were deemed unsafe around the children. We had a link fall through because one of our dogs growled at the CSW. She was a smoker and the dog hates them.

My friends adopted with a dog, it depends on the dog I suppose and allergies

I'm sure your pets are lovely and well behaved, but what you really have to be aware of is that there is a small posssibilty that a child could harm your pet. I mean more than just unpleasant, I mean really harm them. I know of one incident where a cat had to be put down because of its injuries.
Many people with pets adopt, the vast majority with no problem at all, animals can be very theraputic for children, But if the worst were to happen, SWs want to be reassured that the child comes first.

It will be a big change for your pets though. I swear my cat rolls his eyes at me sometimes before disappearing out of the catflap. Its harder for dogs to get out of the way so I would start thinking about how you could create some safe spaces for them.

I've adopted and had two cats. We've had no problems but were warned we might need to have them spend some time elsewhere for first couple of weeks if necessary and rehoming might have been a possibility if there had been issues, but we were lucky. They ignore him most of the time, but he loves them!

Sorry my op wasn't clear.... but I already know that there is a possibility that my pets might have to be re-homed because of behaviour from adoptee.
I guess my question is....am I still allowed to adopt if the dog sleeps on my bed?
(I love my dog, I have had many dogs before, none of them came upstairs let alone slept on my bed) but my current one does, she needed to be close to me when I first rescued her, but she's getting better at being separated from me, just naturally happened over the year that I have had her.

I'm just interested to hear from other dog owners, as yes, I don't think the cat will be a problem as she will disappear through the cat flap and I have a home office in garden that she can shelter in if needed.

I think my dog is fine, and would actually love to have a child (she knows lots of children and loves being around them) in her life as she doesn't have any behavioural issues, but how does a social worker know that?

Sorry, I do know that pets might need to be rehomed if adoptee is cruel/jealous/mean to them and the dynamic doesn't work (and obviously if the pets are distressed/badly behaved to adoptee).

Apart for the obvious signs of a badly behaved/jealous dog what are social workers looking for?

Obviously I don't think either of my pets are unsuitable to live with a child, I am quite an experienced owner, and not blind to my pets flaws, but they are both lovely sweet animals, that I have no issues with currently.
Dog loves children, and apart from my time being stretched and juggling dog walking with child care I can't see too much of an issue (apart from potential of my first sentence in this post).
Cat will disappear if they need to....I have a home office with cat flap in the garden, she can hide in there!
She is also very elderly, and sadly there is the possibility she wont out-live the adoption process.

Double post as thought post didn't get posted!

Like I said, our dogs slept on the bed when we adopted. They were moved out because I decided it wasn't safe for them/LO to share a bed with me at the same time. They still sleep on the bed in the day with hubby when he's on nights. I don't trust the dogs anywhere in the house on their own except kitchen, hall and landing. If it even smells remotely like food it'll get chewed.

You have to write a risk assessment of your dog. Certain breeds (ie those banned under the dangerous dogs act) cannot live with adopted children. Both your SW and the CSW will meet your dog as part of the process and will warn you if dogs are an issue for any panel members. Our matching panel's medical adviser had an anti dog reputation because of treating so many dog related injuries.

Thanks if it sounds like they are treated on a case by case basis, which I perfectly happy with.
I am very confident in my dogs behaviour around children, but I would never leave any dog alone with a child/children.
I am very very confident that my dog would be fine to continue to sleep on my bed and for any adoptee to share my bed when required too - I assume quite often - especially in the morning - it helps I have a super-king bed.

My dog will happily share a bed with anyone, or a tent too! she is genuinely very sweet and if she was remotely difficult I would be honest about that. I would welcome an assessment from a behaviourist if that was required by the process.

what would you do if the SW said it wasn't acceptable, or if you did have a child and they didnt like bed sharing with a dog ?

We had a dog assessment completed, which went into our PAR. It was very helpful and greatly appreciated by the matching panel. It shown that we where being responsible dog owners having them checked out by someone completely independant to us, the dogs & the adoption agency.

Like other posters on here prior to our LO moving & also the assessment which was a few months prior to even us being approved (We went with a VA & they actually won't put you though approval panel if you have pets (specifically dogs I think) without this assessment certificate, it cost around £100) they had full free roam of the house; including furniture. They had their own beds also dotted around the house aswell.

Dog assessor suggested a few tweaks to our management of the dogs, specifically around the door bell going/meeting and greeting at the front door (emphasised by the layout of my house too).

The dogs now both have a comfortable bed in the kitchen which they go too when we have someone knock at the door, which leaves all the high expressed emotions which we got prior.

They were also banned from being upstairs at night until at least the adoption order has been granted, and maybe beyond that -much to their distaste.

However, even having dogs you should still be able to adopt a child. Make sure that you look into the dog assessment (it'll give you kudos if it's not a requirement) it certainly impressed our LO matching panel as they'd never heard of one before.

Plus, don't be scared of saying that your not interested in a child that has shown violent tendencies to animals. We did & our LO absolutely adores animals - especially dogs!!!!

Sorry, but social workers aren’t worried that ‘there is a possibility that my pets might have to be re-homed because of behaviour from adoptee’.

They’re worried about how the animal will behave towards the child because it’s a safety issue and children who are adopted have had all the unsafe experience they could ever want in life.

rain I thought I had shown I understood that point through my post/questions?
Agatha that's really helpful thanks. My dog is a very enthusiastic greeter, she's small and light so most people find it charming...but that does is an area that a SW might ask me to work on.

I grew up with animals and they are an important part of my life, I have never not had animals, even when I was a student living in another city.
I am hoping to find a compromise that means I can still keep my pets even if I want to adopt - I consider my pets part of my support network!

I adopted with 2 dogs. It was never an issue and barely mentioned. My son came from a foster home with a cat and a dog and was used to being around animals and showed no aggression towards the pets. My dogs are kept downstairs using a baby gate and have done for years.

I have also been aware of a family that had to rehome pets after the child was aggressive and hurt the animals and for that family that was a very difficult decision especially at a time where the children were so new in placement. Also, I have heard of families where the pets, having shown no signs of jealousy or aggression before, have snapped at children due to becoming frightened of the children (screaming, shouting, throwing things, hitting parent etc). I think if you are considering adoption, you should think about how to keep animals and children separate for everyone’s safety. Animals respond on a very basic level and when adopted children are dysregulated can also respond With survival instincts and that’s when things become unpredictable.

What happens if child comes through in the night and climbs on top of a sleeping dog? How would a dog react? How would child react? Important consideration.

We adopted with a cat. No issues.

I think the only way to really know if the dog sleeping on the bed is an issue is to ask them.

The chance of child hurting a pet mat be pretty rate. Chance of pet hurting a child hopefilly pretty rare. Chance of child being allergic, probably rare. Chance of child being scared of pets possible.

If your oeys are safe and we'll trained them that's good. Child may have positive experiences of pets and love them. My son loves our car but doesn't want cat on his room.

Hopefully, it'll all work out fine. Good luck.

Thanks all.
Genuinely if a child stubbled in and fell on my sleeping dog I really don't think my dog would react badly - she is very sweet and I've never seen her growl or snap at anyone/anything. She doesn't react badly when visiting children occasionally tread on her tail/paw etc she will just move away. She loves cuddles with children.
She constant looks at me when there are children around, as I am constantly looking at her to watch for signs of distress/the children being rough with her.
My bed is big enough for my dog to sleep the other side of me and away from the door.
Obviously the household would change a lot if a child was adopted, and maybe the dogs stress levels would increase so that they might become snappy etc. In those circumstances I would definitely look to rehome my dog, I don't want an unhappy dog, I would have no difficulty finding her a new home - it's me that would be gutted as I love having a dog and she is a wonderful dog (I've had lots and she is special).

We adopted and our dog does / did sleep on the bed. Our children were fostered in a family with a dog and 3 cats so our LA clearly didn't worry.

The dog was assessed - sort of - and we introduced him a couple days into the cross over week.

I assume that the assessment social worker would have said more if she'd spotted any issues each time she came.

Our dog was used to seeing my godchildren & nephews. They came on a few more walks and things as we got nearer the adoption so the dog could get used to hustle & bustle and sharing us.

Only issue we have is that our dog barks at other dogs a lot when walking with the children. Clearly protecting them but we've had to work on this.

@trendingsomewhere the final section of your last post is really what SWs want to hear
Lots of people with pets adopt, the chances of allergies, child harning animal, dog biting child are small.

But just in case you are the one exception SWs want to know that the child's needs will come first.
I think you sound like a single person - I'm a single adopter and honestly there are so many things an SW could potentially get their knickers in a twist about

We are just waiting for our panel date and our SW is fixated on our two large dogs. I'm intrigued about the dog assessment that you mention AgathaCroosty - how did you do this? It might be something that we need to do. Thanks

Hi, we're in the process of applying and have 2 dogs and 2 cats. Shortly before we first applied I got a friend whose a dog behaviorist round to chat through some changes we might need to make to the dogs lives and how to start making the changes now so that the dogs settled before a lot children moved in.
It was really beneficial and has shown our SW we're serious about getting things right. The dogs were sleeping in our bedroom but now sleep downstairs and we were advised to make sure they have a space to go to where they can escape the children and get some peace. It isn't ideal but because of the set up of our house we've made the kitchen their space and put a gate up already so they can be left in their for some snoozing time. It's not done as a punishment, they get a stuffed kong and left in the kitchen for a bit. They used to sleep on our bed but we chose to have them sleep in the kitchen at night. Another option might be to try a dog cage in your bedroom or at least be willing to try a cage if necessary.
It's been very clear from the start that the main concern is giving the dogs a quiet space and I firmly believe managing their needs will help everyone settle.
We were given a dog assessment to complete, the vets have been asked to fill in a form confirming they're vaccinations are up to date and we also wrote a profile of each of the dogs saying a bit about their personalities and lots of photos of them with kids.
So far things have been fine. No issues or concerns raised. Nobody mentions the cats at all and i'm pretty sure they'll just keep out the way for a bit.
One thing we are going to make sure we do is get the dogs routine suitable for when children are here. Their food and walk times need to be worked out around school, bed and bath times and we're also going to reduce their exercise a bit so their not expecting long walks every day when we're at our most stressed and busy.

We adopted siblings and we had a cat and two degus. Sad thing about it was they requested proof they didnt have an asbo order. Pathetic really. But they didnt have one. Since rehomed my degus as they were high maintenance and our cat sadly passed away Jan this year.

When we started, the process we had a dog and 2 kittens. The first SW that came out was clearly uncomfortable around our dog so we put her (Ddog not social worker) outside. This came out in her report as “we don’t trust the dog around visitors and therefore it can’t be trusted around children”

Second social worker and Ddog took to each other and was never mentioned again, but did feature quite prominently in the PAR. Her sleeping arrangements, eating and lack of dog smell in the house were all noted. As were the cats’ eating and litter arrangements.

We considered one match with a little boy with chronic leukaemia, we were advised that we would have to rehome all our pets, I knew that wasn’t the case when DSis had leukaemia so did some checking and both CLIC sergeant and Macmillan confirmed that the only current guidance was to minimise handling of animal waste when immune compromised. We asked the child’s social worker to review the current guidance with their medical advisor and they refused. That was one of several reasons we ended the match.

Ddog sadly died during waiting and I have to say that we got noticeably more interest in our Linkmaker profile once she was removed.

When we were being matched with DS his SW did make several checks of the cats litter trays and was adamant that they should not be allowed in DS room.

I should add that Dcat 1 is 100% compliant with the social worker’s wishes. He completely ignores / avoids DS.

Dcat2 is an asshole and does whatever he wants!

We have 2 cats and have had no problems at all. During the assessment process, our social worker did a relatively quick assessment of them (she had spent hours around them by that point having carried out most of her visits by that point) and could see they were placid and friendly. Also, as part of the assessment, we were ‘observed’ looking after a child of a similar age to what we were looking to adopt at our house so also had the chance to see what they were like around children.

Be prepared for questions about how you’d cope if the child was allergic to cats/dogs or if they didn’t get on and needed to be rehomed etc. - that threw us a bit as we hadn’t thought about it to that point