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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

WHERE DO I START TRACING MY MUM'S BIOLOGICAL PARENTS?

49 replies

Merlin · 07/08/2007 20:37

Can anyone point me in the right direction please. I have very limited information - not sure who to contact or where to look?

TIA

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Merlin · 07/08/2007 20:51

.

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KristinaM · 07/08/2007 22:38

need more info. are you and adoptee or is your mother? what counrty was she born in / adopted in?

Merlin · 07/08/2007 23:03

Mum is adopted. Lived in and was adopted in Brighton, Sussex.

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edam · 07/08/2007 23:12

Does your mother have her birth certificate - the one giving details of her birth mother, I mean? If not, obv. apply for it. And then search for her mother via the registers of births, marriages and deaths. Look for her mother on the electoral roll. Was the adoption through any agencies, such as Barnardos? They have records that they will show your mother.

IIRC there's an organisation called Norcap that helps adoptees searching for birth relatives, try googling them.

Good luck -am stumped with my own similar search, hope yours is more successful.

Merlin · 07/08/2007 23:27

Only birth certificate she has has no parent details, just confirms her name, gender and DOB and country of birth. And it is dated 1952. She was born in 1937.

She thinks she was adopted when she was about 2 yrs old, obviously have no idea of actual place of birth or where she was for the first couple of years of her life

Thanks all for your comments.

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edam · 07/08/2007 23:33

I think you've mis-typed, her birth certificate can't be 15 years out!

Sounds like the 'short' birth certificate, I think you need to apply for the long one - don't know if you can apply direct to search the register for adoptions. Google Norcap, they will know.

Merlin · 07/08/2007 23:35

Sorry - meant the issue date is 1952. And yes it is the short one.

I will try Norcap - thanks Edam.

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KristinaM · 08/08/2007 00:56

Adoptees dont have a "long" birth certificate.They have the short one that you mention and another called an extract from the adopted persons register. Both will be in her adopted name.

She needs to get both her extract and the original birth certifiacet with her birth mothers name on it (unless she was a founding). It rarely has the birth father's name.

The extract will give the date of her adoption.If she was legally adopted. i dont mean that her adoption was illegal, just that many people who belive they were adopted were simply brought up by relatives and there was no legal process or involvement of an adoption agency. Sometimes "adoptions" were arranged informally by doctors or ministers of religion.

I'm just wondering if that might be the case withyour mother. Partly because it was common in teh 20s and 30s and partly becase she only has her short birth certifiacte. Though it might be simply that her adoptive parenst might not have wished her to know that she was adopted

For example, a baby born to a teenage unmarried mother coudl be "adopted" by grandparenst or an aunt and uncle.. I knwo of a case where a child was informally adopted by another family, but the "adoptive" fathers name was put on the birth certificate along with the birth mothers. then the baby was simply brought up by her legal father and his wife

There is counseling availabel for adoptess who are searching and your mother may wish to take advantage of this, as it can be a difficult process. I think thsi is especailly true for people of your mothers age, who were brought up wth different attitudes to these matters

GooseyLoosey · 08/08/2007 03:47

As a slight diversion, can I ask a personal qu? Why do you want to find your natural grandparents and how important is it to you? I ask as dh is adopted and has no intention of tracing his natural family and I have wondered if this will ever be an issue for my dcs. Feel free to ignore if too personal.

Merlin · 08/08/2007 18:59

Kristina/gooseyloosey

She was told (in the heat of an argument when she was about 12 )that she was adopted - although her adoptive mother also told her she had her from about the age of 2. Mum has a memory of going through the offical process for the formal adoption but can't remember when that was.

Mum only revealed to the family she was adopted earlier this year and now she would really like to know where she came from and ideally if she has any living siblings/parents/extended family etc. (She was brought up as an only child).

I have lovely memories of my Nan who died about 30 years ago, but I am intrigued now to know if I have more family out there because my Dad is an only child too so have very small family!!!

Thanks for all your comments.

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KristinaM · 09/08/2007 22:11

NORCAP runs an Adoption Contact Register and offers support and advice to those undertaking a search for a birth relative.

Tel: 01865 875000
www.norcap.org.uk

The Adoption Contact Register is the Government run contact register on which adult adoptees and birth parents can place their names with a view to being put in touch.
Tel: 0151 471 4830
www.statistics.gov.uk/registration

Merlin · 09/08/2007 23:53

Thanks for that Kristina.

Have got form today for Mum to complete to access her original birth certificate details ie. birth parents details.

She is completeing it tonight and sending it off asap!!!! She told me today that all she wants to know is where she was born.

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KristinaM · 10/08/2007 00:16

Really? If it were me i woudl want to know where i was for the first two years of my life and how i ended up being adopted as a toddler! I also find it strange that your grandparenst never told her until she was 12 when presumably all the neighbours, other children in the school ect all knew.

But ovbiously i am a really nosey person

How woudl you feel if she decided to take her search further and looked for any living birth relatives?

KristinaM · 10/08/2007 00:19

have you any idea why she has decided to start searching now at the age of 70 when she has known she was adopted for nearly 60 years??? She sounds quite a character

Merlin · 10/08/2007 15:18

Kristina - she does want to know those things as well! There are lots of other little snippets of info she remembers which I wont go into on here and she also has a photo of her with a couple of young women - one of which she feels could be her birth mother.

Don't know why she has kept it to herself all these years, but my sister wanted to trace the family tree and that's when she told us she was adopted!

I would be quite intrigued to find out if I have other grandparents, uncles/aunts etc etc. My Dad is an only child too so have no 'real' aunts and uncles just good friends of my parents.

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jofeb04 · 13/08/2007 20:46

Hi Merlin
Only just seen this. I am searching for my biological parents.

I got in touch with my councils Adoption services, who then recieved all the offical paperwork.

Cat me if you want more information.

HTH

Merlin · 13/08/2007 20:49

Thank you Jo.

Mum has sent off form to request info on her full birth certificate and her paperwork will be forwarded to a local contact - as I understand it.

Think she wants me to go with her to the meeting - she is quite excited - I hope she finds out what she wants to know.

Good luck with your search too.

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Shoshable · 13/08/2007 21:00

Jo emailed you some info.

Merlin · 13/08/2007 21:01

Shoshable - ????? haven't got anything yet

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Shoshable · 13/08/2007 21:08

meant I had emailed Jo some info

Merlin · 13/08/2007 21:58

(thick emotion) here - sorry!!!!

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Shoshable · 13/08/2007 21:59
Grin
KristinaM · 14/08/2007 12:33

merlin - it would be good if you could go with her to the meeting. You might need to prepare yourselves that the information might be upsetting.

Sometimes it is very limited and there is littel there that you didn't know already

Sometimes it is very painful - you may hear of neglect, violence, addiction or abuse.eg babies conceived after rape or sexual assault, older children placed for adoption because the mother remarried and her new husband didnt want the child, children in care after serious injuries

Often the way these records are written reflects the values of the time eg referring to a baby as "disposed of", not placing some children of unknown background for adoption as babies in case they turned out to be of " mixed blood", children described as "b*tards"

Merlin · 14/08/2007 15:07

Thanks Kristina - hadn't thought about those not so nice possibilities - doubt whether Mum has either. Will make sure she is prepared for the meeting when it happens.

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KristinaM · 14/08/2007 22:23

sorry, i dont mean to be a killjoy. its just adoption dont really happen from "happy" circumstances, its about loss for everyone concerned, in different ways

if your mother was adopted when she was 15, i suspect that it was an informal adoption , perhaps from a family member. and they realised that they would have to adopt her legally before she turned 16.

OTHO if that WAS the case, the name on her ration card woudl have been different to her parents. did she see her own card or did her parents keep it? that might be a clue