Next steps

[wonderinglill]

Hi all.

We've recently been linked with a beautiful little girl. We've meet child SW and ff with our SW and all agreed its a positive match (I know it's not a match until matching panel). What's the time scale on average now moving forward? How long did it take for you to be given a panel date and how far away was panel?

We are waiting a meeting with medical advisor, will we get panel date before then or is this usually given after this meeting. SW advised will be doing adoption plan with childs SW, manager and ff. Is the panel date given after this? I know we won't be at that meeting.

We're due to go away on holiday shortly and would like to have some idea of the timescale to notify work and get things in order. Also did anyone start buying at this stage?

Sorry for all the questions. We know everyone's journey is different 😊

It sounds like everything is moving in the right direction. Your SW, or more likely the child's SW will know what panel dates are available and should have an idea of which date they are working to so I would ask. It's definitely a reasonable question at this stage. There is a lot of paperwork for the child's SW and/or family finder to submit and it all has to be in X days before panel (sorry I can't remember how many days). I think my panel date was about two months after everyone agreed it should go forward. I remember talking to the FF about a possible earlier panel date but it wasn't to be. Anyway, I would definitely ask via your own social worker.

I also remember asking my social worker at this stage if I should start buying and she said yes. Again I would see what your social worker says. At the very least you could start choosing what you want to buy so it's not a mad panic in the lead up to panel. Obviously keep receipts and avoid unboxing if you can. I did end up taking a few things back as they duplicated what lo already had or just weren't needed. The meeting with the foster carer is hugely helpful for finding out what is coming with the little one so I would hold off on buying too many clothes and toys until you've had this.

wonderinglill Congratulations.

Our time frame was:
Heard about little one and within about one month had meeting with social workers and said definite yes.
Within two months had matching panel, two weeks later introductions and 10 days later little one was living with us. So under 4 months I think, which seems long but actually went very fast!

Personally I would not buy anything until after matching panel. But you could choose items and reserve them. Remember little one may come with a lot of toys clothes and you may not find out exactly what until introductions.

Thanks that's really helpful. SW has said to go buy stuff but as you mentioned she doesn't know what little one will come with so don't go overboard. I got the feeling she meant clothes and toys rather than the big things like cot etc.

We waited 3 weeks for meeting with SW from the day we first heard about her, only because our SW was off for 2 weeks. If we have a panel date we have something to work towards and work can get someone trained to replace me. Thanks xx

If social worker gas instructed you to buy stuff then that's fine of course.

I'd look into a car seat and cot/bed appropriate for agd, plus push chair or of an and high chair. Clothes and toys I really would go easy until you know what she already has. Simple things like cups/bowls/bibs etc are very necessary and if not done yet baby/child proof the house.

Exciting times. Keep us posted.

push chair or a pram

SW emailed today and we have matching panel in October with intros beginning of November. We have a couple of months of preparation along with meetings. SW has mentioned all you guys have mentioned above on what to buy now. Beyond excited 😍

Oh many congratulations - such exciting times. I would say to be prepared for the time between now and November to fly by, there are a lot of meetings and practical things to do so you’re going to be super busy.

As well as getting the room ready and doing all the stuff and buying all the stuff, make some time to rest and just adjust your mind to the changes that are coming. If you were pregnant you’d have 9 months of physical changes which slowly adjust you towards being a parent, adopters don’t have this and get in such a frenzy of activity that the actual emotional shift is often very hard.

Enjoy the excitement of preparing for you wee one.

Thank you @jellycatspyjames we are away this weekend for a week holiday and ive got 9 days annual leave to take before November so will be taking long weekends to emotionally prepare and get things done. All the appointments coming up I've booked off work and they've kindly paid me for them so that nice. It's all happened so quick, I wouldn't change it for the world but I'd be lying if I said we ain't nervous 😬

Congratulations.

Keep receipts for anything you buy.

Get your Christmas shopping & wrapping done (except for the LO) before placement so you don't have to think about it when newly placed.

Plan a low key Christmas.