So, after the long thread before, I have finally admitted to myself, I need to know who I am

[jofeb04]

So, I am going to try to trace my biological parents. Been in touch with my contact at SS, who wants me to have counselling and which I feel I need. I need to be stronger, so it is going to be a long process, but I am ready to take that step of actively searching.

Thanks for all the advice and stories you have given me.

I'm so yet also yet also a little

if that means anything to you!

Take your time and go at a pace you are happy with, but most of all - GOOD LUCK!

Good luck with everything!

Good for you! If it's what you want, go for it. I traced my biological mother and father 5 years ago, and I'm so glad I did.

Be prepared though, it does open up a whole new can of worms.

Let me know if you want to hear more about my experiences, or want to chat

Footprints (or anyone else), what sort of problems did you come accross. I'm obv very scared if it all goes wrong, or it biological parents come into my life to much IYKWIM

Hello jofeb04!

For me, I actually found both my biological father and mother fairly easily - found out where bio-father went to school from the social workers reports, and he was on friends reunited!
So I emailed him...
And he knew where my bio-mother lives.
So I was very lucky.

The can of worms I was referring to was the feelings it brings up. I now have a good relationship with my bio-father, we email often and have met quite a few times - he takes me out to lunch whenever I'm back in the UK, has met my daughter and husband and I love having this friendship with him. But he also has a son (my half-brother!) who does not know about me. My bio-mother has written a few letters to me, which was wonderufl at first to finally find out about my first few days of life, and how she felt and that she DID still think about me (my adopted parents always said she would have forgotten about me!) But she doesn't want to meet me (yet) and no longer writes to me (I don't know why) and has never told her two other daughters about me either. So that's frustrating, I'm sad that we're no longer in touch and I just send a letter every so often (moving house is a great excuse).

My adopted mum has been great about the whole things and has even met my bio-father, which was the wierdest experience of my life!!

Basically you have to be prepared for the whole experience to be WIERD - my bio-father always says "there just aren't any instructions on how this should go, are there?" and also you have to be prepared for what might feel like a second rejection.

Hope that helps a little! Finally having answers to so many lifelong questions is well worth the risk. Good luck