In need of positive vibes

[OliviaJ89]

I’m 37 weeks pregnant and will be a single mum. The father of the baby left at the beginning for another woman and has blocked me ever since, telling me he wants nothing to do with me or the baby since I wouldn’t get a termination. His new girlfriend is his priority and he needs to make her secure and happy.
He owes me a lot of money and my financial situation isn’t good right now (mainly due to him). I’m privately renting, which is expensive on my own and don’t have the option to move back home. The council have put me on the housing list and said I next to expect to wait two years to get a house through them. I can’t afford a mortgage on my own...
I can’t apply for child Maintenence off him because he doesn’t have a job and is living off the new girlfriend.
I want the best for my baby and just think can I actually do this with so many obstacles? Am I being selfish bringing a baby into this world with such a crappy situation? Should I consider adoption?
Or do I just need to get positive and ride this rough time? TIA x

Well he sounds like a prince !
What a terrible situation he has left you in but your baby will be best placed with you if at all possible. So I would move heaven and earth to keep them because your post doesn't come across as if you are ready to relinquish them for adoption but rather that you need help to cope with the practicalities.
I am a great believer in where there is a will there's a way myself and as I am quite old now ( compared to you at least ) I realise that life is ever-changing and your circumstances can change quickly too.
So practical advice is firstly do you have support from family and / or friends ? Will you get maternity pay ( I assume so ) ? Can social services offer you any help to keep your child ? They might at least be able to point you to some organisations that can help you ( sure start , gingerbread etc ). Can you go through the courts to recover any money from your ex ? Probably will plead poverty but might be worth a shot. Could you raise extra income working from home in the evening etc ?
I am sure that others will have better suggestions that can help you as well.Really hope you find a way to get through this x

see www.fnp.nhs.uk may be able too offer help and advice.

Yes, I really don’t want to go down the adoption route, but I feel maybe I’m being selfish wanting to keep the baby when I’m not financially secure 😔 also, I feel so guilty that my baby won’t have a dad.
I will get maternity pay and the surestart grant. I have a permanent job which is 3 days a week so I’d need to do extra to earn more. My mum is supportive and could help with childcare once or twice a week. Ive tried to go through the courts to get money back off him and I wasn’t successful...I ended up with a big solicitors bill. I would go down the child Maintenence route but I don’t think I’d get anything off him yet.
I really do hope things change for the baby’s sake.

Any child is better off with a birth parent who loves and cares for them. You don't want to adopt so please don't feel it's a better option for you or your child.
Plenty of kids grow up in single parent households and they do ok, I'm a single adopter and my son is doing just fine. Better a stable and happy single parent home than one with parents at war and a dad who doesn't really care.
I think what you need to do know is see a benefits advisor, check your entitlements and make sure you apply for everything you are entitled to.
Gingerbread is an organisation for single parents - the website has lots of useful information
Good luck

The fact that you're considering this says to me you'll be the best mum you're LO can have.

Please contact the organisations others have suggested for support.

Agree with flapjackfairy and everyone else. Keep your baby. Better for you and better for baby.

Please get all the help you can.

Sorry your ex is such a waste of space but baby will be better off with one good parent than one good one and one crap one. IMHO.

You're clearly putting your baby first by thinking this through.
I hope you can find a way to keep your baby when they arrive.
It might not be easy but I'm certain it will be worth it.

Thanks all for your messages. I’ll look into all the financial support I can get.