My feed

to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.


Starting the Process- next week!

10 replies

selly24 · 25/07/2019 16:51

I posted a while back as we applied a couple of years ago and were turned down because of my weight/ high blood pressure.
Lots of life changes in between including a house move.
I haven’t lost lots of weight- wear a size 16-but researched and addressed the issues surrounding the health concerns and feel confident that at the place I am in now -physically and emotionally- I am ready to restart, armed with better knowledge of the process and the medical. Feel prepared to fight my corner so to speak...

Social worker visiting next week.
Any advice, tips, - especially from those who applied/ were approved with a higher than ideal BMI especially welcome.
Won’t be the debate about which biscuits- but which raw veg to serve up!!

OP posts:
ThatFineRain · 25/07/2019 17:24

They turned you down for being a size 16?! Have I got that right? I didn't realise they were that fussed about weight! Well done for addressing the concerns!

PianoPiano · 26/07/2019 07:56

I think it depends on BMI, not clothes size.I am in a similar situation. I have tried to find out how much weight they want me to lose, but they won't say. They just say they want me to lower my BMI. What did your SW expect selly24?

Foxinsocks90 · 26/07/2019 08:12

No advice- but wishing you best of luck! We are in the middle of stage one now and have had a really positive experience so far. Keep us updated on how it goes! X

BillywigSting · 26/07/2019 10:15

Another one with no advice here (though a friend of had to get her bmi in the healthy range which was a struggle for her but she obviously had a great motivator and has a lovely three year old now, he came to her when he was one and while he does have a couple of issues and it was hard at first for her and her husband they're doing great now)

Wishing you the very best of luck op!

jellycatspyjamas · 26/07/2019 16:26

My DH and I were approved with higher BMI, it came up at medical and we took 6 months to make some lifestyle changes - I had talked about where my food issues stem from during the assessment so my SW knew there would be limits to how much I’d loose.

In the end we both dropped our BMI by about 6 points but could talk about our lifestyle changes and how we would support our DC to lead healthy, active lives. It was fine, I was a size 18 when approved and matched.

dimples76 · 26/07/2019 18:02

I am currently applying to adopt for the second time. Both times my sw asked me to write a response to the medical advisor's commentary on the medical re what I was doing about my weight (I am a size 18).

I emphasised how active I am. I also talked through my diet - think that they were reassured that I ate lots of fruit and veg, cook a lot from scratch etc.

Has your blood pressure come down at all?

dimples76 · 26/07/2019 18:03

Oops meant to add, good luck and try not to worry

Italiangreyhound · 27/07/2019 02:45

We were approved when I had a higher BMI. I still have a higher than ideal BMI!

I said how I was trying to lose weight and what I was doing. I was open to their comments and I understand why they make these requirements.

I was a size 16 when we adopted.

My experience was that just acknowledge that I needed to lose weight and was doing something about it was fine. I am on medication for my blood pressure and I am pretty sure I was when we adopted over 5 years ago.

It probably helped that my husband and dd are slim and fit and so the meals I produce (I do more of the cooking) were quite healthy.

Is your blood pressure is under control?

Good luck with the visit.

selly24 · 27/07/2019 11:18

Thank you for all the advice and sharing your experiences. I will definitely be writing down an action plan regarding my weight to show I take being over weight seriously.
My blood pressure ( when monitored with a 24hr monitor wasn’t considered enough of a risk for medication to be recommended). So showing some lifestyle changes should help.

OP posts:
Pinkroseuk · 09/09/2019 16:43

Hope you don't mind me asking but we are thinking of adopting but my bmi is high still - is this likely to be rejected? I have lost 3 stone in the last year and still dieting - we live a healthy lifestyle etc but I have medical issues that make me gain weight so it's not been easy.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.