new to all this - need some guidance

[herbaceous]

After a couple of years of miscarriages and the dawning that we may well never have our own children, we've decided to look into adoption.

I realise there's lots of psychological stuff to work through - I'm getting there - but as the whole process seems to take so long, thought I'd better get cracking.

Could anyone tell me:

1 How much difference does it make if we're married or not (as only one non-married partner can be the adopter)? We're not, but as we will marry one day wondered if it was worth hurrying down the aisle!

2 We'd like a young child, as it will be our first, and possibly only. How much difference does maternal/paternal age make? I'm 41 and DP is 31 - would they 'average us out'?

3 Can you be signed up with more than one agency at once, to maximise chances of a good match? Or is that frowned on?

4 How easy is it there days to adopt from abroad - India or China, probably - and which are the best agencies? Or how do I find out?

Sorry for all the Qs - as you can see, I'm a bit new to it all, but don't want to set off down a wrong track that will take a long time to get out of...

Thanks!

US adoptions (mostly through church based agencies) are different from most others in that many birth mothers are able to choose a family for their child. They have dossier and sometimes interview potential adopters, once selected there may be a period of contact during the pregnancy during which time it is quite normal for adopters to pay BM medical bills etc
I know of adopters who have then been present at the birth and flown back with very very young child. I think I heard that this was to change though - obviously BM does not get the same chance to change mind as in UK (6 weeks I think - and longer in some other countries) and I think that was the reason for a poss rethink.

on the flipside - there is alwyas the chance that BM's pull out once they have the baby (with you haviong paid their extensive medical bills and living expenses) which they are perfectly entitled by law to do. It's one of the main reasons why so many US adopters look overseas themselves.

here is the link to the telegraph article

here

Thanks Kristina - interesting, the money side of it makes me shudder I must admit and yes the birth mothers do have the right to pull out - just not very long to do it in. There must have been some very distraught adopers I should imagine . In India no matching until the statutory 3 months post birth have passed.

beemail, I think the US must be one of the few countries in the world who legally allow adoptions at or near birth. Even kazakhstan has a minimum 3 months before they go on the register to allow birth family to get them back.
I think it will cause a problem with their signing the Hague convention as some of their prctices are certainly not hague compliant.

Re Hague that's my understanding too - I've never heard of any other country allowing babies to leave the country so young and this must have had an impact on the many birth mothers who may have made decisions whilst not in a fit state to do so.......