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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

How it was at work

10 replies

topcat2014 · 17/07/2019 21:02

Just interested to find out what your workplace did when you went on Adoption leave?

I am finishing in 2 days (albeit only for 3 weeks).

MD's comment "it's not really convenient" so that's a boost!

Not really expecting anything..

OP posts:
Thepinklady77 · 17/07/2019 21:20

I think you need to remind your MD that the comment could be seen as discriminatory! Would he/she have said that to a woman going off to give birth or a father going off to support his partner in the birth and early days (paternity leave)? Definitely not! They need to be reminded that adoption leave is a statutory right just like maternity! I would go as far as to seek a formal apology to help him/her realise their mistake and ensure their views/understanding about adoption change.

Ted27 · 17/07/2019 21:21

My work was lovely, it was the same as if I was going on maternity. I came in to a desk decorated with its a boy banner and balloons and some gifts. I took in cake.
My best friend who also works in my office organised a last girls night out.
We do have collections for the men in our office when they go on paternity leave so I would hope it would be the same for adopters. But inevitably there isnt as much fuss as the mums get.

DeegeeDee · 17/07/2019 21:22

Bit off of MD, tact and diplomacy not to the forefront there.

If you're not off for long, it's like a long holiday - why only 3 weeks though? Team member was deputised in my absence who I made copious notes for and whatsapped when they needed an ear. Known them for decades so they had my number anyway.

Did as in gifts and good bye/luck? Got a card and presents from team plus same from long standing colleagues. Wasnt expecting anything and was chuffed they did it. All gratefully received and thanked - cards are in the memory box. Went out for drinks with immediate team and said a teary bye.

Ted27 · 17/07/2019 21:38

Would the MD have said the same to a man going on paternity leave?

Original poster
topcat2014 · 17/07/2019 21:47

Would have liked more time, but it just wouldn't have worked. Small company, single point of failure (me!) for loads of stuff, (inc payroll etc).

Our company doesn't really 'do' time off well - eg everyone is expected to decline jury service etc..

OP posts:
Original poster
topcat2014 · 17/07/2019 21:49

Sometimes I think our MD isn't really suited to owning a company and having to deal with people :)

OP posts:
Thepinklady77 · 17/07/2019 22:11

Topcat if you think you need more time then you have every right to take it. You are entitled to take up to four weeks off unpaid on top of your two week paternity leave. This is under the parental leave scheme that every employee is entitled to claim (4 weeks a year, up to 18 weeks in total in the first five years of a child’s life or following an adoption). An employer can ask you to defer taking it for up to six months but no longer EXCEPT following a placement of a child for adoption. They can not refuse it!

I do understand it will not be looked on favourable by your boss and the company. I know it may have major implications for your company BUT you not being there for longer while your child settles in may also have major long term implications for your child.

My DH was off for 7 weeks in total when our two were placed with us (2 paternity, four unpaid parental leave and 1 week annual leave). Our children and I needed every second of that time. If he had been going back any earlier than week five or six I would have literally walked out with him. I was not ready to go it alone until week 6.

You may not need this long, some do and some don’t but if you do feel you need it do not be afraid to stand up to your company. Remind them that just like they worry about the detrimental effect on the company in your absence, you also worry about the detrimental effects on your family in your absence from the home in the early days.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 19/07/2019 14:43

My work were ace. DH worked there too and we had over 50 years service between us.
We / I had a mini presentation with some really appropriate small gifts for the children and a lovely card for us.

Original poster
topcat2014 · 19/07/2019 18:53

@underthenameofsanders - that sound's cool.

I finished today. A few people said some nice things as they left.

OP posts:
Gertruude · 21/07/2019 22:23

My work were clearly weirded out by not knowing what to say!

Anyway the important thing is - massive congrats to you @topcat2014 hope it all goes smoothly! All the best Thanks

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