Don't want to hear it!

[darkriver19886]

Went to one of my local towns today and bumped into someone who knew my girls were adopted. I was so appalled with what she said to me!

"Two families have got there children back, this could be you! We're going to be taking this to the High Court. It gets better honestly."

I stared at her horrified. I don't want to hear this crap. She then grabs me which is triggering for me.

"My sons have found me again, this will happen for you."

I just walked off.

I am never rude but honestly I almost slapped her.

That must have been hard for you, just as you were minding your own affairs as ususal.

That was extremely thoughtless of her and short sighted. I feel for you, I've name changed many times so am not recognised on this board but I've been following your story for a long time. It must be so difficult for you

from me too. Some people are just very thoughtless. Hope you are feeling a bit less thrown now.

I'm so sorry.

I just don't get why people would do this? I am trying to convince myself she meant well but it doesn't make me feel any better regardless.

Regardless of her intention, it’s your very private business - I’d have slapped her, you have much better control than me!

She is much bigger then me.

If her sons have found her, then she may have thought she was offering you some hope for the future.
Of course you will never 'get over' this, but it is particularly raw for you just now with the adoption order going through.
She was thoughtless and insensitive at a time when you are particularly vulnerable.
Many adopters have 'standard responses' for people who ask thoughtless questions about their children. Maybe you could do the same - you don't have to be polite !

She knows how I feel about Hope. As for standard response I remember the first week the girls had gone into care. A woman stopped me to ask where the girls were and I just randomly came out with the words very dryly. "I sold them to the circus"

My therapist says I use humor as a defence mechanism but the look of horror that spread across the womans face was strange.