Was I right?

[Aranan]

A friend adopted a number of years ago and I tried to be the best friend I could be by researching modern adoption, so I was able to best support her. I learned a lot that I didn’t know before. If you have nothing to do with adoption, why would you know?

This evening someone shared a post on the dreaded FB - a birth family sharing a heartfelt plea to find their adopted child. Now 22.

I commented that it wasn’t really appropriate to share this type of post. That the adopted girl could contact the birth family if she wanted to. I’ve been lambasted! This is on a local group, not my personal page.

I should have said nothing, but I figured if no one says anything, no one would know why it’s not on.

Kind of want to know that I was right, right? This kind of post is not on is it?

Thank you for listening.

I guess birth families may find it hard to accept that a child may not want to find them/be found.

I think nowadays no one should EVER be passing on personal information to friends or strangers. There could be a hundred reasons a young woman (or man) does not want to be put on touch with people who may, or not, be related to them.

I think you did the right thing. Sorry you are getting a hostile reaction.

Adoption brings up a lot of very primal feelings in those who adopt, those who 'lose' their children to adoption - and the children themselves, of course.

Blood isn't thicker than water but a lot of people think it is!

Thank you for caring.

Thank you Italian.

Yes I think you were right. I think most people think adoption is like Long Lost Family. Whilst I don't have any great issue with that programme, it doesnt represent modern adoption.
Its not easy to put your head above the parapet. Your friend is lucky to have you on side.

Totally agree with you. Adoption is a single act, which made that child a member of your friend's family. The only person who should be searching is the child -- once she is an adult. Her story belongs to her and her history belongs to her and she can choose whether she wants to explore her past or embrace her future.

I saw something familiar included the age and thought the same thing.

As a Birth Parent I would never dream of doing this. The guilt trip in there was appalling. You need to go through official channels.

You were right. People just don't take two seconds to consider the wider implications because, quite bluntly, people are stupid and ignorant. I've seen posts shared and it amazes me that people think this is ok.
Thank you for trying to educate people. Sadly it doesn't often work!

For me, the issue is as much as anything is how do I know any post about being reunited whether it's with family or friends is genuine? How do I know that this isn't actually someone trying to track another person down in order to do them harm?

Everyone has a right to privacy and I'd recommend everyone set their privacy settings to max as there are cases of people who didn't want to find their birth families being tracked down through social media then vilified because they refuse to engage.