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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Considering Adoption

7 replies

EmCJ · 06/05/2019 16:56

Hi all,

My husband and I are considering adoption as we are unable to biologically have our own children. We are eager to have a family and have decided to explore adoption. We are going to our first adoption information event in a few weeks, which I am excited and nervous about as I don't quite know what to expect.

We are researching online and we are already looking into how much we can save each month to put us in the best possible position financially.
I have read that we need a support network around us, my family live 4 hours away but despite the distance we are a very close family and see each other as often as possible. My husband has unfortunately lost both parents and only has his sister. We have got a strong network of friends around us but I am scared that this could hold us back!

I know that this process is going to be long and at times incredibly difficult but we are both so determined to do everything that we can to make this happen.

OP posts:
NothingIsAvailable · 06/05/2019 17:59

Read through all the posts on here, most of your question will be answered. A support network of friends is fine!

Italiangreyhound · 06/05/2019 19:25

You've managed to post this three times. You may want to get some of them deleted. You can do so by reporting them to mumsmet.

Italiangreyhound · 06/05/2019 19:27

Here is what I posted on the other thread...

I don't think your husband having lost his parents would hold you back.

Building a network of local friends would be good.

Have you considered fertility treatment and decided against it? You do not need to answer me but you will probably be asked this.

topcat2014 · 07/05/2019 06:55

Think of the process like buying a house. It will take a long time, some parts will be a little stressy, but on the whole it just trundles along.

Like buying a house, try not to look too far ahead. Just deal with the next bit of admin that crosses your path as it comes.

Don't worry (at this point) about all the language and abbreviations, that will soon be second nature.

Be prepared to wait - for everything. IMHO most social workers work part time, so weeks can pass if they need to make contact with others.

DO NOT PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD :)

Remember to book a summer holiday etc,

Italiangreyhound · 07/05/2019 07:11

topcat2014 that is really good advice.

jellycatspyjamas · 07/05/2019 10:28

Think of different types of support, eg who offers you emotional support and is someone to talk to that you can be totally open with, who is around for the last minute need help with the kids type support, who might help with planned babysitting, who will take you out for coffee and help you relax and have fun.

Having people close by is important, so is having a wider support network. Best in mind that your relationships will change with the addition of children, you’ll make new friends and in my experience the people I thought would be great haven’t been as supportive as I thought the would be.

Try not to go into it expecting it to be stressful, parts of it can be but really it’s a set of processes to get through. SW don’t set out to make life difficult but they need to be thorough and, as in every walk of life, some are better than others. Build a good relationship with your SW, they’ll be in your life for a while and even if you don’t agree with them it’s easier to challenge or explore differences from the place of a positive relationship.

Remember this process is about finding parents for children, not about finding children for parents. Simply put, the child’s needs should always be paramount in the process and that can feel hard but it’s thst way for a reason, your assessment will continuously focus on what “X” might mean for children who are placed with you.

Last of all remember we are all human, we all have life events, health issues etc to consider - it doesn’t mean you can’t adopt, it does mean you need to deal with your own stuff. My assessment took place over the most difficult 3 years of my life, literally everything that could go wrong, did. And yet here I am with two beautiful DC and a fairly normal family life.

Italiangreyhound · 08/05/2019 00:48

jellycatspyjamas beautiful post. Flowers

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