Letterbox and illness

[darkriver19886]

Got letterbox coming in May and unfortunately I found myself seriously ill at the end of last month which resulted in life saving surgery. I am slowly on the mend now but, I am wondering if to include it in letterbox?

You do not need to include too much detail, but personally I would feel odd if I didn't refer at all to something which was such a big event. I think contact should be honest but with a positive/constructive slant.

I hope everything is OK with you now?

I am struggling with the aftermath and recovery is going to be slow but I am okay. I am glad I am already in therapy so I can process it now rather than hold on to it.

Glad you are doing better.

Do you know if your letters are given to your DC or if they are kept for later?

From my point of view I wouldnt want dc to be worrying so if the letter gets given to dc I’d suggest going with a light ‘I had this operation but all’s good now’. Or not mention it at all, or include a separate letter to dc parents telling them so they know and they can divulge as and when appropriate.

It so much depends on situation and operation and DC age and...

I hope you’re okay now.

I am not sure the girls are quite young so am assuming the letters wont be shared yet. I will contact my after adoption support worker and see what she advises.

Could you say something like:

Unfortunately earlier this year I was very ill and had to be in hospital for quite a while with emergency surgery and recovery. Although I expect to make a full recovery eventually, it will be quite slow so I haven't been able to do much recently.

Best wishes

darkriver19886 Really hope you will be ok and make a swift recovery.

I would include it but in very simple terms.

I might use the word serious illness or injury rather than life-threatening or life-changing.

I would also give the result first then detail, so not a 'story' of the experience that starts at the beginning and ends at the end. But rather the facts in a manageable way.

E.g. I am recoveeibg well in hospital after XYZ.... This happened because ABC... Etc.

I say this because a friend once gave me some very serious news about a shared friend by letter.

She said it all in chronological order and it was very sad and scary and all I wanted to know was, is he OK?!

I has to read to the end the letter not really taking it in!

It was 30 years ago. But that feeling has stayed with me. IMHO it's an unhelpful way to break bad or sad news.

Bless you, get well soon.

Iv revived my letters and got a surprise they let my 5 year old write me 1 to but I'm struggling with all these emotions again I get them Jan and I i repley Feb but i feel like I did again when she got taken away and just had her 1st anniversary to the last day one as her I'm happy Jan n Feb but now i feel down again till next year any top on how to manage this

Hi Sammy,
I am sorry that your struggling but, I would advise you start a new thread as your more likely get better answers.