Foster carer applied to adopt

[HoolaHoola20]

Hi everyone,

Was wondering if anyone else has experienced this at all? We had been the selected couple for a home visit for a LO and it has now been delayed week after week as the foster carer has put in an application for adoption.
Clearly they adore this LO and that’s wonderful but we feel naturally very disappointed.
Just wondered if anyone had any insights as we keep being told each week we will have the outcome only for it to be another weeks wait.
TIA

I've known of a couple, both only second hand info.

In one case the FC only applied after matching had occurred. They got nowhere and it was awkward but dealt with.

In another case it was after the initial match and it caused such delays that the couple I knew walked away.

Without knowing the FCs chances it's impossible to advise but I would expect delays at best. I would carry on with your search and not get your hopes up on this one, though you never know- it could all resolve.

That’s really useful, thank you for your advice. 😊

I know a family who were matched with a child and then the Fc applied to adopt him. The Fc said they didn’t know how strongly they felt about him until they faced the prospect of him leaving. The Fc adopted him.

Sorry.

Thank you so much for your reply. We have resigned ourselves to thinking it’s probably a no until we hear back just to soften the blow. The only tiny weeny positive we are holding onto is the fact the FC live in the same area as BM and ideally they wanted LO places out of area.
However, I can really see how these strong attachments form and how that would be in the best interest of the child rather then moving.

Thanks again 😊

HoolaHoola20

" I can really see how these strong attachments form and how that would be in the best interest of the child rather then moving."

It is so excellent that you can see this. My advice to you would be for you to hang on in for as long as you feel able to do so. If FC does not adopt and you do, it is the right thing for the child but if the child is going to be adopted by the FC then you will be free to look elsewhere. A delay of a month, two months or even a few months will not be so massive for you, even if it feels massive for you at this moment.

However, getting the best outcome for this child will be vital for them.

Good luck.

That’s really good advice and much appreciated. Thank you

I thought it would be good to follow up this three with the outcome for anyone else who may be in this situation.
After 5 weeks of waiting for a viability assessment that we were initially told would take 72hours the FC has been approved to apply to adopt.
This is a great outcome for the LO I just wanted to share our story as there seems to be lots of highs and lows of the process that aren’t nesscarily always mentioned.
The upside to this is that LO has found their forever home which means we can now provide another LO with theirs.
Relieved the outcome wait is over

You are a very gracious person Hoola, a great deal more gracious than I was when it happened to us.

I'm not sure it was a particularly good outcome for the child in our case as the foster father didn't want us to have her as we are a mixed-race couple and he felt the child looked white enough to go to a white couple (which the foster family were). He was sent on a cultural awareness course before the adoption was approved which apparently cured his racism, but I suspect the child was brought up not knowing that she is half asian.

However, we got DS instead a while later and I can't imagine life without him. I wouldn't go back and change anything now even if I could. I wish you all the best with your future family.

Thank you so much 😊 so lovely to hear you got your happy ending. I know ours is out there somewhere too

I read your original post and wondered how it went. Thank you for updating to benefit others! Sounds like a really difficult situation in which you have reflected on what was best for the little one. Very selfless of you and great that you've turned it into a positive.

The child or children who are yours are absolutely out there and they'll be lucky to have you in their corner

What a lovely person you are and very selfless!
Our eldest adopted son's FC objected to his placement with us because we were not Christians fortunately his birth parents were on our side, was I right?
Good luck you will be a brilliant parent.

Thank you both so much, I’m really touched by such lovely comments.

Thank you 🤗