Sharing my adoption diary

[Gertruude]

I've kept a diary for the last three years. Not daily or anything but reasonably regularly. I started writing when we were going through infertility & to be honest it was a coping mechanism, some how it helped to get my feelings out by writing. I didn't know the direction it would take but it ended up following our adoption journey over a three year period, the ups and downs we experienced through the entire process & then post-placement of our two, then three AC's. It also covers some of the difficulties we experienced during that transition from childless to parenthood.

I don't have as much time to write now, even when things are super tough. My DH and I talk things through & come up with practical ways of managing so the diary feels les vital.

But I remember when I was going through infertility, & at various points along the journey since, I found the 'adoption diaries' that I read were super helpful. I devoured anything I could find that gave insight into adoption or made me feel less alone when I was going through the tough bits.

So, (sorry this wasn't supposed to be such a long post!) I feel like I should share my diary with others. Though of course because it's mine, 1) it's personal, 2) I feel like why the hell would anyone care about my experiences and 3) how or where would I even go about sharing it?

Do people think this is something I should do? Could it help people going through the same thing? And if so does anyone have any ideas/advice/guidance as to how to go about it?

TIA

Definitely think you should do this. I’ve kept a diary too and will probs share it later on when I feel ready. Or I quite like the idea of writing a book, when I have time...(?)

To be honest, blogs are the only way I knew that you had different stages in the adoption process and what they all meant. When we had certain things come up like panel, starting intros, etc, it was so helpful to be able to read what people had gone through.

Think it’s definitely a worthwhile thing to do!!!

Thanks for replying Moomooboo. I love the idea of writing a book too - Sally D style tho I don't claim I could write as well as her!

But yes a blog is probably a good idea. It does just feel a bit odd to be putting my stuff out there like that but you're right I'm sure it's worthwhile

I personally would benefit greatly from this, as someone possibly coming to the end of my ttc journey and thinking about next steps.

I think it's a lovely idea, obviously there is the option to change details here and there. I think those embarking on a similar journey would find it useful.

My only concern would be longer term, would your tell your children, if not, would they piece it together and find out, what would the implications be?

I am writing a diary for my children, it feels like a good idea right now, but we shall see. Really positive, funny moments and proud milestones. Maybe they will cherish it, maybe they won't want to see it.

It's a hard road to travel and I do think the tough process, the even tougher challenges are certainly worthy of documenting.

@juneybean where you're at right now is super tough. I remember feeling so socially isolated then like no one understood & I couldn't talk to anyone about it. Reading the adoption books like Sally Donovan's no matter what and Rosalind Powell's How I met my son really helped me refocus. But I distinctly remember no one seemed to talk about what came before it, how hard coming to terms with infertility was - or maybe it's just a different genre!

@Autumnbloom I hadn't thought of it like that actually, you're completely right. I knew I'd need to anonymise things & take out anything identifying or too personal for my kids but I'd probably been quite short sighted in terms of thinking about how they would feel further down the line. I often wondered how Sally D's kids felt about being the subject of her books though.

I think it's lovely that you're documenting the positive & happy stuff. I find those moments harder to capture as I never remember to write when I'm happy - it's alway when things have been too tough writing becomes an outlet. I must remember to do more of that rather than just save it for our annual letterbox!