Single parent fostering

[PoppyStellar]

I’m considering fostering and wondered if anyone had any experience of being a lone foster carer and whether it’s something that would be feasible for a single parent with an adopted child?

My interest in fostering has been niggling away in my mind for a few years but I can’t decide if it’s a totally crackpot idea that’s completely not feasible as a single parent or whether to look into it seriously. All advice and opinions gratefully received!

I think the critical factors are ( in no particuar order )finance, work, space, age of child

So can you make it work financially, can you afford to give up work? Do you have a spare room?

I have a single adopter friend who fosters, her children are mid teens, she fosters babies mostly, occasionally a very short term toddler. She does no other paid work. I've no idea what her finances are but I'm guessing the foster payment for one baby does not support the household so I imagine there is some combination of tax credits, adoption allowance, DLA other benefits in there.
I'm currently being assessed to foster a sibling to my 14 year old. Its been an agonising decision. I can just about afford to take a year career break to settle him in. I work part time, supported by a very generous adoption allowance for my son, DLA, and tax credits. I'm crossing my fingers that a year will be enough to settle us into an even keel. I can afford to stay part time but my pension is taking a big enough hit and I really can't afford to give up work completely.
Its only going to work for me as my son is older and fairly independent and the sibling is 11.
So no I don't think its a crackpot idea, but its not easy. It can be workable, but it depends on how severak things knit together and what you are prepared to sacrifice - for me the big sacrifice is returning to full time work next year when my son is 16 and the impact that has on my pension (Im 54 so it matters)

Thanks Ted, those are really helpful thoughts. You know sometimes when you’ve been thinking of something for so long you sort of lose the ability to analyse things objectively? That’s me I think.

I think finances are probably going to be the sticking point unfortunately. The reality is I don’t have a pot of money to fall back on and although I think I could get everything else aligned, and although I really would love to foster, without some magic money tree the reality is I need to keep working.

I did fostering training a few years back, there were three of us who were single and needed to work. We were recommended to do respite care work. I did eventually end up dropping out but the other two continued. One ended up with an 11 year old staying with her full time and the other ended up with a regular child on respite plus she did other bits and bobs of Emergancy care where she could. They both kept working so it is possible. Maybe scale down your expectations of how much you can take on to start off with?

I foster and have adopted twice. I also have friends who are single foster carers and manage well. How busy you would be would depend on a number of factors such as where you live, whether you are able to take a sibling placement, the age range that you are happy to foster. For example, carers that say they are only able to take one child, age 0-5 may wait some time for a placement. I guess another big factor for you (and me) would be matching with your adopted child, who may have additional needs and find it difficult to cope. A word of caution though - fostering is amazing but it is sometimes heart breaking when they move on.

We're in stage 1 and have recently been to the adoption training and also to several network meetings where you get to speak with all sorts of adopters: single, straight couples, gay couples etc. and can ask them questions about their journey and experiences.
I would recommend calling several adoption agencies and your local council to see if there are network meetings that you could go to and talk with single adopters. First hand experience is probably your best source of information.