practicalities

[Iris27]

Hi

I am a single mum of a 4 year old (bc) and looking into adoption. I've been split from my ex for over a year and we still are trying to sort the finances out. I'm in a rented 2 bed place but hoping to buy somewhere larger later in the year.

My question is - can you go through the process and be accepted for adoption with the condition of moving and providing a bedroom? I mean get all the admin done in advance? Or will i have to wait until I've moved before even starting the process?

I think each LA and VA will probably have different approaches depending partly on whether they are short of AP's or not. Certainly I know of people who have been approved with only 2 bedrooms and a birth child but the combination of relatively recently split and finances not yet sorted may combine into them expecting you to wait until everything is in place - newly placed children need stability and part of that will include you and you existing child feeling settled whereever you are.

Contact your local adoption team and ask them.

Hi I'm a single adopter, firstly I'd say its tough doing adoption alone, you have a very young daughter and you need to think very hard about the potential impact on her, particularly in the light of a relatively recent separation, presumably at least one house move, another one coming up and probably starting school. Thats a lot for a 4 year old.

I very much doubt an agency take you at the moment. They will want to see that you are financially secure and stable and that you have had a period of emotional recovery after your separation. You will need to show that you have a strong support network. Most adoptive children have some level of additional need so you need to factor into your finances not only childcare, but the potential impact of maybe needing to give up work or at least go part time. I am 7 years in and still work part time.
lots to think about. Good luck

sorry, don't know why I thought daughter !

Thanks for the advice. I'll ask agencies.

Changes to housing isn't necessarily a barrier but they will almost certainly have issue with this.....
, you have a very young daughter and you need to think very hard about the potential impact on her, particularly in the light of a relatively recent separation, presumably at least one house move, another one coming up and probably starting school. Thats a lot for a 4 year old.
A sibling is a huge deal! A sibling after your parents have split, plus a house move in the near future and starting school - not fair at all!

My daughter is fine thank you. I will always put her first and it's slightly irritating that you are assuming otherwise when I'm asking about housing and nothing else! I don't need advice on my daughter.

We have been separated for 18 months and I know the adoption process is lengthy so it's not like I'm looking at taking on another child tomorrow.

I just wanted to know if it was worth me applying now or not.

Iris27 yes you asked about was it worth applying based on your housing situation but other very experienced adopters who have walked the path ahead of you have pointed out potential other issues. These will be based on their experiences over the years. They are all making very valid points. They are simply saying that whilst you think the barrier to you being considered for adoption is your house when actually it might be something else. Please don’t be irritated but take it as honest advice. I am quite sure you will always put your child’s needs first but a social worker may have different ideas and you will have to be prepared to battle this through with them.

My advice would be to make some preliminary phonecalls to some LA’s and VA’s sharing your situation and see what they think. You have nothing to loose in asking the questions. If you continue on this journey you will find great advice
and support here but you also have to develop a slightly thicker skin because sometimes the answers you will get do not always match what you think or want to here. I know I have been irritated by advice offered to me in the past but after reflection or the situation or it had panned out I have come to see that some of the comments were very valid, they were just not what I wanted to hear at the time.

Good luck with your journey.