Single asian females who have adopted

[Tan2019]

Hi just wondered if there are any single asian females out there who have adopted.

I would love to know how your communities reacted and how you dealt with inquisitive people

Sorry I can't help directly but I am a single white adopter with a central asian son.

Most people we don't know just assume I have an asian partner - we don't share our story with every person who enquires! Inquisitive people are dealt with in the follwoing way:

Is he adopted - "why do you ask?"
Where is his father from? - "kazakhstan"
He doesn't look like you - "Oh don't you think so?"

The last one makes DS laugh a lot these days.

He rolls his eyes (he's 13) and just says "I'm adopted" and gives them a flat stare. His choice!

Asians (without wanting to stereotype are defintiely more intrusive than british people - at least non British raised asians are.

You just need to get less compliant about sharing when asked. There are many differnt approaches - you just need to practice one that works for you.

Questions about birth family I either deal with by saying repeatedly - "I don't know" or by saying "that's private"

Hello, I am not a single Asian woman and my son is not Asian heritage either but our son is another ethnicity to us. My experience has been (without wishing to stereotype) is that people of his ethnicity are more likely to ask intrusive questions. However they are also more likely to be friendly and show tremendous kindness. There are ways of handling questions and you get better at it. Also I found that people in the neighbourhood just get used to us and the more we feel confident as a family then the less people ask.

It's a funny old world. We live in one of the most diverse boroughs in the UK but I believe that intrusive questions are often linked to educational level and so we get more around here than when we trundle around my parent's extremely white area of Northern England. Everyone there is just nice to us and I don't remember ever being asked anything.

Getting my son to handle it when he starts school is the next hurdle!

Thank you Kewcumber......this is exactly what I wanted to know....how to deal with the questions as they are nosy people. I dont want to be rude but at the same time need to devise a tactic that will respectfully refuse to give them info. Thank you so much

Thank you Mamoosh.....i agree completely.....there is lots of kindness out there but a few people tend to spoil it for the rest of mankind.

Im going to try and act confident and normal.....guess I need to get practising....thanks once again