So we survved Christmas and New Year - just barely. How about you?

[Kewcumber]

So Christmas at my sister's in Isle of wight. 18 people staying (yes STAYING) for 4-5 days. Everyone very lovely but there was no room at the inn. Not a space you could get away, read a book, watch what you wanted on TV. Then DS got a really nasty cough and was up most of the night convinced he was dying (he has health anxiety), he did have a temperature and really nasty cough but was defintely not dying.

It was the first Christmas without my lovely mum who loved christmas.

Came home exhausted had one day when my sister in law and neices came to see us - to be fair it was lovely to see them but no day to chill.

Then we drove to Norfolk for New Year with a group of 72 single parents and children of whom we new 2. We have to share a bedroom with two lovely people but no breathing space again. The house was lovely and big and lovely grounds but bathroom has peeling paint and very scruffy. DS takes one look at bathrooms and says "I'm not getting in THAT shower" (remember health anxiety?)

Moans at me under his breath most of the weekend bbut intermittently seesm OK then all holy hell breaks lose on the last night where DS loses it in the games room with the other teens and throws everything throwable (food, bins etc) and storms out in tears. Won't tell me what the problem is.

So I go down and quiz teens and turns out that there has been ongoing racist bullying from a couple of the older boys and in true gang mentality no-one came to tell an adult at any point.

So I get DS to bed and we leave at the crack of dawn.

Oh and the day DS (literally) threw his toys out of the pram, was the anniversary of my mothers death last year - New Years Day.

And breathe.

Tell me your's was better. Or worse... I'm not sure which will make me feel better.

that sounds like hard work kewcumber. Sorry about your mum.

We survived but the main issue was really that I have been ill for most of it. I had a gall bladder episode on Christmas Eve which lasted a few days, then I came down with bronchitis, I staggered to London for a promised trip to Kew Gardens, took some over the counter stuff for the cough which had a severe impact on my 'digestion' so spent two days diving into loos across London!
We don't do family at Christmas, we visit the grandparents the weekend before and have a family get together which we enjoy but over Christmas itself we catch up with friends, doing as much or as little as we feel like. This year we scaled back a lot because of my current health issues. I've spent a lot of time in bed, he has probably spent too much time on the PS4 but we are ok.
Really not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow

That sounds exhausting @kewcumber. We’ve survived too just about, this is only our second Christmas and other than stuff happening at school we kept pre-Christmas as low key as possible, my two get overwhelmed so easily and the fall out is horrible to deal with.

We had a good balance of family, friends and quiet times, made sure they got outside to run around every day and rode out the tears, tantrums and challenging behaviours. On the whole, we had a really nice time as a result, so much more pleasant than last year thank goodness. In saying that, I’m more than ready for them to be back in school tomorrow- I have a date with a good friend, nice coffee and some down time.

Kewcumber I hear you and I have learnt my lesson about trying to do too much after this last Christmas. At least I hope so but by next Christmas no doubt I will have forgotten and go headlong into all the madness and mayhem again. I do love it so . Well this year we had a house full throughout christmas and New Year. It was lovely but I also struggled with losing my dad nearly a year ago and it hit me harder than 8 was expecting. On top of that my beloved aunt ( like a second mum to me ) died on boxing day.
It is her funeral today actually and I am at home holding the fort with my 2 complex needs kids as we have no one to look after them. My husband and adult kids have gone for 2 days and the house feels v quiet without them.
I just got the oldest on transport to school and have had a cry whilst bathing the youngest who keeps smiling innocently at me and reminding me that life is full of both good and bad and sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and get through it.
Sorry just made that all about me ! I was trying to show you that you are not alone and I realise that I need to just concentrate on my kids first and foremost without overloading myself with other stuff. Maybe our schedules were a tad too optimistic !
Anyway so v sorry about you mum kewcumber . It hurts so much I know and it doesn't help that it is such a poignant time of year. I hope you are able to relax and recharge your batteries now.
Sending a hug xxx

Ted sorry to hear you are not well. Hope things get better for you soon xxx

Well I survived just barely. It marks my first full Christmas with out the girls and it was a nightmare. Christmas was timed with the fact that my Therapist took a much well deserved break. I am holding on until Thursday until my next session.

I found the whole festive period very difficult. The mass overwhelming images of families sharing this time was painful, seeing my daughters old friends faces on social media on Christmas day was an especially painful kick in the stomach.

Being told by strangers "What have you got to be so miserable about its Christmas" was especially galling. Of course they don't know me, my pain or my story but, it was upsetting all the same.

I went to my friends house but, could only manage a couple of hours before it became to much. I came home and gamed until I went to bed and then cried myself to sleep.

My mental health over the last few weeks has suffered massively, I dont know if I am coming and going. My memory is poor and I have had to take a few weeks off from the charity shop. The nature of my mental illness makes things like this difficult.

I am sure as time goes on Christmas will become an easier time for me but, the pain was very overwhelming.

Oh dark so sorry it was so hard for you. It must be such an emotive time of year and is bound to open up those wounds.
Hopefully now life returns to some kind of normality you will begin to find some kind of equilibrium.

Sending best wishes xxx

Oh my @kewcumber.
We went nowhere and had no visitors and spaced out both the Christmas presents and DS birthday presents but we still had a few rages by DS about going out, mainly.
But they both played with their presents and DS even sat at the table and ate some meals without a rage.
and his school trousers are a bit tight due to indulgent parents allowing chocolate

@flapjackfairy I don't really think of it as a thread about me. Happy for others to join my misery!

@darkriver198868 I'm really sorry - normally saying I understand would sound crass but with the loss of my mother at this time of year I think perhaps sound less so. I hope over the years you make your way through your grief, of course it will never leave you but I hope it will become less sharp and overwhelming with time. My loss was inevitable and as my mother said "in the right order" and so I naively thought it would be an easier loss to bear. Ha ha ha. No. But perhaps we are more programmed to deal with the loss of our parents than our children so the coping becomes easier more quickly.