Am I suitable to adopt? Can i have some advice?

[Dani2018]

I've been thinking about adoption for the past year and keep coming back to it.
I feel ready for a family but I'm a 30 year old single professional woman. Earn a reasonable wage of 28k a year, this is going up to 31k in April after I complete my management course. I work 35 hour a week flexitime and have about 12 years experience working with children.
I'm wondering if I am suitable as I don't have a partner or large family. I have a strained relationship with my mum but am close to my sister and her two teenage children.
I've done a fair bit of research about the process but guess I need realistic advice and perspective from parents who have embarked on the adoption route. I'm worried I'm being too idealistic and may get a shock if I pursue it further.

Just to explain why I am seriously considering adoption.
I love children and enjoy spending time with them. I have had 2 long term relationships with partners that haven't led anywhere and if I'm honest it's a child I really want and a partner is just means to have this. I'm happy being single but would love a child as I am a very loving and nurturing person. I don't have any fetility issues as far as I'm aware but feel as though there are wonderful little people aalready here and needing good mothers which I believe i can be. I would ideally like an under 5 year old and wouldn't mind delayed development or some disabilities as I have the skills and experience from my job to manage this. I just worry that my job and lack of support wouldn't be good for the child.

Being single is not a barrier in itself to adoption.

As a single adopter myself, I'd say the things you need to think about are

• support network. Doesnt have to be family. I have a small family who are not local to me. I had a small group of very long standing and supportive friends. Your network changes when you become a parent, mine is much bigger now. For now think laterally - what about friends, neighbours. Think about different scenarios and how would you cope and who you could ask to help. You would need to show that you are open to extending your network.
• adoption leave - most SWs will want you to have a year off, can you finance this
• your job - how flexible is it
• finances - can you afford childcare, what would happen if the needs of your child meant you could only work part time, or had to give up work completely.
• school holidays - 13 weeks, plus teacher training days and random snow days. How would you cover these. Holiday clubs can be ridiculously expensive.

At 30 you are still quite young in adoption terms, you have time to work on things if they aren't quite right. I changed my job because the job I had ( which I loved) only paid statutory adoption pay so I couldn't have afforded a year off. The hours weren't flexible enough for a single parent, and the salary, whilst more than enough for a single person, wouldnt have supported us comfortably if I had to go part time. I ended up in a very tedious civil service job but the pay, terms and conditions are unbeatable really and are what I need. There is a way round everything - you just have to find it !

No advice from me I'm afraid but just wanted to send you all the luck, love and best wishes in your dream

Thank you for the replies.
I do have a few close friends living nearby that I know I can rely on for support. They don't really think I'm being serious though and insist I will meet the right guy and have my own child one day. I'm not interested in a guy or particularly fancy being pregnant tbh.
I would have about 29 weeks on half pay for my adoption leave which is doable but may need to consider the impact a year long career break would have on my career at this stage. Apart from that, my job really is flexible as I manage my own diary except from attending set monthly meetings. Savings wise I only have about 5k in my isa so will need to grow this considerable before I apply then.
I'm glad I've not came across as silly or idealistic as that's the response I've had from others so far lol

You most certainly do not come across as silly. I say go for it ! I was the same as you , single ( a tad older !) no desire whatsoever in being pregnant , professional career etc. Only difference is I have a close family. My pay slip was checked but was asked for no evidence of savings. I expressed interest this time last year and now my baby has been with me four months ! Good luck and happy to help xx

You sound like you'd be a great adopter!!
I don't think there is any rush - but do lots of research; talk to adopters, keep reading, and then start to talk to authorities/agencies and going to open evenings.
I would echo the importance of a strong support network. Its great you have close friends - mine have been invaluable, so have my family. Also see what children centres/groups etc. are in your area as well as 'we are family' groups (an adotion support network run by adopters for adopters).
Good luck!!!

Hi Dani,

You sound to me like you would make a great adopter as you have already thought through a lot of things.

The only thought I had is, would you be able to cope with the adoption process while still doing your management course? Don't underestimate how demanding the assessment is. Not in an awful way but it does take your time and energy. Maybe you could look at it seriously once your course is done?

Don't doubt yourself that you have a lot offer though and an agency will love to hear from you.

You sound great. Good luck.

My only advice would be:
Continue to build your network or practical and emotional support
Continue to save
Declutter your home, if you need to, kids have lots of stuff

(And go on any fun holidays and wild nights out now!)

network of practical