Gosh, this road is bumpy, isn't it? (Panel etc)Non

[topcat2014]

So, we had approval panel yesterday. I had been lead to believe that you either got approved, or not approved, and you got an answer on the day that needed rubber stamping by the agency decision maker.

Not so, in our case.

We did get approved, kind of, although there was a split result. 3 approved now, subject to further work being done, and three approved later subject to further work being done.

None of this further work could have been done by us independently, as it requires SW involvement such as introduction to existing adopters etc.

So, like everything else, the path is rough, you end up feeling flat, and you carry on limping along :)

Still moving forward though - I think if I had known about this third possible outcome at panel, I would have assumed that was where we would end up - given past experience for us.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Where the "Non" came from I don't know.
Bonjour everyone

Aww topcat, frustrating for you. I do know of a few cases that got deferred at panel subject to a further work being done. In one case they wanted more information on a medical issue in their family. This should have been explored by the medical advisor much earlier. They did go on to get approval and a match quite quickly. Don’t think about it as a slight on you. This has happened as a result of the social worker clearly not doing her job thoroughly enough. You can be sure your social worker will be feeling this as much as you. I was told that if a social worker takes people to panel and they don’t get through it does not look good on them. As you say this will make you stronger. I believe all delays are for a reason. The little one/s that are meant for you are maybe not ready for you yet. Keep thinking like that, remain positive.

That’s so irritating - but I guess everything happens for a reason...

Do you have to go panel again then or can your social worker tick those things off and then you’ll be approved?

What else do you have to do?

I think having to meet people who have adopted is a bit irritating as you’ve surely done that through going to the prep course?? And also there are so many support networks available - (mumsnet!) that you can always talk to people when you need to. Whilst friends and family may not always understand the ins and outs of adoption, you’re not suddenly going to start talking about your deepest and darkest problems with a relative stranger - you will still go to your best friend/partner/parents/family members...

Sorry - I just don’t like the idea of forced friends!!

How annoying! It sounds like it will eventually be a yes, but it must have been very deflating.

If it's any consolation, we failed the prep groups first time round and have now successfully (?!) adopted twice.

Your French made me snort in my tea 😂.

Bonjour!

How annoying for you. And a bit rubbish of your PAR assessor.

I wonder is there anything you can do that doesn't rely on SW input? For example, making contact with other adoptive families, etc? AUK might have meet ups/networks etc? I guess I just wonder if taking back control might help a bit, rather than feeling it's all in the lap of the gods.

The thing is, they want us to meet a specific family type (with a BC same age as our DD), and for DD to meet too. That kind of thing needs SW to sort, really.

The other stuff is reviewing actual real life CPR reports.

As far as I can tell, we will get approved one way or another.