Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Middle names

9 replies

Autumnbloom · 23/10/2018 20:47

NC for this, but regular poster on the adoption forum. So, we are just about to apply for the AO, and we have been thinking about adding middle names (I'm not looking for the rights of wrongs about changing names...I think we have done that on this board!). We have been thinking about this because of the claiming process that we need to do and also because of the fact that together, our sibs may be identifying (not security related), and if they choose too (later in life), they could go by their 2nd names.

Youngest is easy, no second name, so we can add it as a part of her story. Eldest does have a second name, which strangely, is a shortened version of my husbands name. So ideally, we would keep him as he is.

So Should we just add to the youngest's name and not the eldest's ...as I never, ever wanted to take away from the names the birth family gave them, which we would if we replace the eldest's second name with something we prefer, or should we leave eldest's second name as it is?? Would this have an affect to the eldest, that we added to his sibling's name but not theirs later in life??

I wouldn't change eldest's second name completely (because I don't want to take away, I want to add..if that makes sense), think 'rob' to 'Robert'. My worry is that we leave eldest's name as it is and it worries him in the future because we added to his sister's name but not his). Hope this makes sense??

OP posts:
brightsunshineatlast · 23/10/2018 21:31

I promise I won't comment on rights or wrongs - just to say that you can have more than one middle name, if that helps. They could both have 2 middle names, or just the eldest have 2, so you would be adding to both names.

Autumnbloom · 23/10/2018 21:38

That's a point I hadn't thought of...interesting. Thanks @brightsunshineatlast

OP posts:
Allgrownup3 · 23/10/2018 21:44

I have given my little one the same format as my older children. Just so its all nice and even.

Trust me they do question any differences when they're older. :-)

Autumnbloom · 23/10/2018 21:55

Thank you @Allgrownup3 that is my worry, we could keep eldest's as it is, because it fits nice and we can explain why we didn't add to it, but I think he will feel left out and maybe worry as to why we didn't add to his name if we did the youngest's. If we don't add to the youngest's and keep everything 'as is', she may think that she isn't worthy of a middle name especially as the eldest's is a close fit to my husbands name. All small worries in the field of adoption I'm sure, just want to mitigate any issues if I can!!

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 23/10/2018 22:18

As your older dc has a form of your dh's name for a middle name, could you add a form of your name as your younger dc's name? That both names would be meaningful for your family.

And you could give them both a second middle name of your choosing too.

Jellycatspyjamas · 23/10/2018 23:33

My DC both had middle names, one middle name was actually the middle name we would have chosen for them anyway, the other wasn’t. In the end we decided to change one middle name and leave the other. Both DC have a “family” middle name, one just happened to have been given it by her birth family.

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2018 00:45

Agree with Haffdonga
"As your older dc has a form of your dh's name for a middle name, could you add a form of your name as your younger dc's name? That both names would be meaningful for your family.

And you could give them both a second middle name of your choosing too."

Our ds had two names and we added one from family.

Autumnbloom · 24/10/2018 05:05

@Haffdonga that is a really good suggestion. Thank you!

OP posts:
howmanyusernames · 24/10/2018 12:13

Our LO had two middle names, one was also my OH's middle name so we have kept that. The other we have changed to be one we liked, so LO now has his original first and (one) middle name, and also one we chose for him.

We also swapped them around so the middle name we gave him is after his first name, if that makes sense?!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page