Apologies

[Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme]

I’m sorry for naming names in my previous thread that has been removed.

I didn’t go about it well and it upset some people which I don’t like to do, particularly when complaining that other people are upsetting people.

The point I was trying to clumsily make was that the less positive people on here tend to be very amplified to me and overshadow the many positive and supportive people.

Best course of action in future is to report to MNHQ. Had intended to be fair and balanced as in my opinion it’s not always a bad thing for people to sit with the discomfort of knowing they’ve upset people. I see it as a natural consequence. That said it doesn’t seem to be a popular view so once again apologies

I don't think you need to apologise. Did you name names?? I don't remember that. I could see many valid points in your previous post. Sometimes I have been worried about posting (not so much on here, but on other forums), because sometimes I end up feeling a little foolish. Because sometimes (intentionally or not) some posts could read as a little condescending (even though they are probably not meant to be that way). I am inexperienced, so I genuinely come for advice (sometimes I overthink my posts for fear of 'getting things/language wrong').

I do like this board though because there are so many different voices, so many different opinions and a wealth of information. I get a real education mostly, because I hadn't seen things from that POV.

I think you should (if you want to) keep checking in and adding your voice to the conversations, if you think a post has veered off, maybe you can help us newbies with a different perspective. I'm new to all this, and I think most are just very passionate. Anyway, I appreciated your honesty.

Thank you! You’ve articulated things much better than me.

I was directly responding to a comment by someone who had also been upset by the same posters and I used the usernames of the people who I felt had been unkind. This crossed a line for some and they considered it bullying so reported the thread. As I said above I feel it’s important for people to know and sit with the fact they’ve upset people (like I am now)

It’s a tricky situation with no perfect solution.

I think my original post was a bit back to front...started off on the negative points and expressed them quite strongly and abruptly and then went on to qualify with the positives instead of the other way round.

Again it’s that ‘overthinking’ of wording that kind of takes you off the point of asking for support and turns into bracing yourself for judgement.

OP I am sorry you find some bits of this forum difficult.

I have found it to be s brilliant source of help. From way before I adopted to the present day.

The fact we have people coming here for advice who - are thinking of relinquishing their baby, or have relinquished, or have had children removed, or were adopted themselves, or are long term adopters struggling, or are new adopters, or whose siblings were adopted, as well as the bulk (it seems) of posters who are thinking about adoption - says to me this is a source of help for many.

Yes, some posters are sometimes upset or some things are sometimes said wrongly.

But having accidently upset two posters about 4 years ago I can say I don't think it is done on purpose! Generally. (Because I certainly did not do it on purpose!)

We are all passionate about adoption in some way or we would not be here.

So I think it is good to assume if you are upset that it is unintentional and to ask the poster why they said whatever.

And it is good to stick up for another poster if you feel it is relevant.

I don't think it is right to assume posters are intending this upset (not saying you did say that).

It's a very interesting place that joins together all parts of the adoption triangle in a way I have not really seen before.